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INTRO PLAYING RYAN DUFFY Welcome to Bogota, Colombia. We’re here chasing after the most dangerous drug in the world, burundanga. Burundanga is the source of scopolamine, which is basically like the worst roofie you can ever imagine times a million. You’re at the whim of suggestions like, hey, take me to your ATM. Hey, come with me to the hotel room while you’re completely conscious and articulate. Apparently there is a lot of different parts of the plant that are a bit dangerous, possibly a bit fun, depending on what you’re into.

So we’re going to be looking for the tree, talking to people who’ve had experience with it, and seeing if we can find some of the actual drug ourselves. MUSIC PLAYING RYAN DUFFY So the deal with burundanga is that it pretty much eliminates your free will. So you’re awake and you’re articulate. And to anyone else watching you, it seems like you’re perfectly fine. But you’ve completely lost control of your own actions. So you’re at the whim of suggestions. And that’s how people take advantage of you. I’ve heard a bunch of different stories really.

Running the gamut. Some of them sound like campfire horror stories you’re told when you’re growing up. Stuff like, waking up in a bathtub with an organ cut out and a sign saying, you have five hours to get to the hospital. We’ve of course also heard that it’s used as a date rape drug. We heard one particularly chilling story where a guy was taken back to his apartment, woke up the next morning in an empty apartment completely confused as to what happened. Went down and said to his door man, you know, why is my.

Apartment empty What happened The doorman said, well, you brought it out with two of your friends last night. All your stuff, you loaded it into a van. And the guy was like, why in the hell would you let me do that And he was like, because you told me to. So that’s kind of the stuff we’re dealing with here, complete elimination of free will while still acting which is pretty much the scariest shit I can imagine. PLAYING MUSIC SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY Columbia’s basically fucked. They had the longest running guerrilla war in.

All of Latin America. They’ve essentially been at civil war for 60 years. And really if you think about it, they’ve never not been at war since they gained their own independence. Other fun facts about Colombia, definitely not from the Board of Tourism, include the fact that one in every three kidnappings in the world happen right here in Colombia. And as we all know, it’s the cocaine capital of the universe. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY Now the borrachero tree, which by the way roughly translates to drunken binge tree, is indigenous to the.

Northern Andean region. That includes Colombia, and Ecuador, Venezuela. But the scopolamine is really only used by the criminal element here in Colombia. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY So despite the insane homicide rates, the kidnapping, the narco trafficking, the civil unrest, and everything else going on in here in Columbia, we can’t seem to find a Colombian who’s more scared of anything than falling asleep under the borrachero tree. MUSIC PLAYING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY So far I’m really into Columbia. I showed up. Beautiful women ordered me dinner.

And it’s fantastic. And they ordered a bottle of whiskey to the table. I might not go back. MUSIC PLAYING SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY So it’s not something that is popularly done down here then RYAN DUFFY Really Not at all SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY Do you know people that have been given burundanga Do you have a cousin of a friend of a cousin SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY We’re here at the Botanical Gardens on the outskirts of Bogota. We’re going to go see if we can figure out what this plant.

Actually looks like. MUSIC PLAYING RYAN DUFFY Those right there are the flowers that we’ve heard a lot about. And you can kind of put those in a tea and you’ll hallucinate. You can also take the root down there, put that in a tea. And again, you’ll hallucinate. And then there’s the cacao, which kind of looks like the mini coconut of sorts. That has the seeds inside. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY They actually just crack the thing right there. And then this is where the seeds are. I mean, that’s where everything comes from, right.

SANTIAGO STELLEY Yeah. That’s what they use to actually make the scopolamine. RYAN DUFFY You’re in business. The most dangerous drug in Colombia and arguably the world. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY The coke, at the end of the day, I mean, with its obvious pitfalls and dangers, is recreational. SANTIAGO STELLEY Yeah. RYAN DUFFY Whereas there’s nothing at all recreational about what can be made with this. It’s a distinctly criminal element. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY The irony of sorts is that it’s beautiful. It’s a very nice plant.

And smells very nicely. I’m enjoying this right now. SANTIAGO STELLEY Seems quite Colombian allinall, very beautiful and very dangerous. RYAN DUFFY This is pretty much the symbol of Columbia isn’t it If you didn’t know what you were looking for, you’d walk right by and go, that’s a pretty flower. Maybe I’ll pick it and give it to my mom. But that would be a real bad idea. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.

SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY So now we’re here at the National University of Columbia. And we’re going to go talk to Dr. Miriam Gutierez who heads up the toxicology department here and apparently is an expert on scopolamine. We’re going to try and chat with her a bit about what actually happens when someone’s exposed to the drug. And try and figure out what this whole zombie thing really means. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE.

SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE MUSIC PLAYING RYAN DUFFY Scopolamine is by no means a modern revelation here in Columbia. The indigenous people in this area have had a whole bunch of uses for the drug. For example, when a chieftain died, all his assorted females, wives, mistresses, what have you, they had to go as well. Now that could be a bit of a dicey process. But what better way to shore things up than to slip them some scopolamine and suggest they walk into a grave.

When they did, they were buried alive. In modern times, there’s a whole litany of fuckedup people who’ve been using scopolamine for their benefit. For example, in the 1930s and ’40s, Josef Mengele had the drug imported from Columbia to Germany to use in some of his interrogations. More recently, the CIA tried to use the drug in the ’60s during the Cold War as sort of a truth serum. The problem with all of this is that in addition to a whole lot of truth, there’s a good bit of hallucination involved.

We’re in a cab right now heading over to the southern part of the city. We’re going to meet with officials at the Bogota City Police Department. What we’re hoping to figure out is a little bit more about how the burundanga gangs work. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE MUSIC PLAYING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY So it seems like a lot of the worst scopolamine stories that we’ve heard start and end at places just like this. And the next thing we’re able to get from someone is, I woke up on a park bench day and a half later, without my clothes.

On, without any money, whatever it is. This drug has always been kind of inextricably linked to sex in some way or another. From its earliest uses, to eliminating a lingering mistresses, to fallen chieftains, to its eventual use in easing the pain of childbirth, to the stories we’re hearing on the streets today about prostitutes giving it to unsuspecting johns, or about men turning women into prostitutes by suggesting they go and earn some cash. It always seems to come back to sex in one way or another. And it always seems to start at places like this.

SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE MUSIC PLAYING SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY So, so far we’ve heard a lot of stories about burundanga. But we’d like to get a little bit closer. So we’ve asked some of our Colombian friends to put us in touch with someone who has an experience with burundanga. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE RYAN DUFFY No idea. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE MUSIC PLAYING SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE MUSIC PLAYING RYAN DUFFY Oh, my God.

That better be the scariest drug I ever see in person. RYAN DUFFY Don’t let go of that fucking thing. SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE MUSIC PLAYING SANTIAGO STELLEY Are we done with it RYAN DUFFY I’m fucking over it, dude. After all this SANTIAGO STELLEY Into the sewers RYAN DUFFY Anywhere but here. Not bummed to see it go, I’ll tell you that much. Like when I first got here I was super interested in it. And it was like this novelty thing. I’ve heard enough stories, man, that I’m just not.

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Migrating Canada Goose and feeding Mallard Ducks

Happy New Year guys! Right now I’m making my way over to Professor’s Lake which is in Brampton, Ontario and I’m going to be feeding some geese and ducks that are migrating south. So they’re in for a real treat today guys because when I went to the grocery store today Rudolph’s Dark Bread. Bavarian bread was what was on sale, so they’re getting the best of the best. So as you can see they’re all clustered over there in a circle and some of them are flying over here already. I can’t wait to start feeding them.

The Canada goose, native to arctic and temperate regions of North America, has a black head and neck with white patches on its face and a brown body. It is extremely successful at living in humanaltered areas given that food is plentiful and it has few natural predators. During the cold winter months Canadian Geese migrate south like Canadian snowbirds, what we call Canadian citizens who head south to the United States to escape the harsh winters. Loud harsh calls overhead from large groups of Canada geese flying in a Vshaped formation.

Blowby Repair with Ceramic Engine Coating Oil Additive Certech Gels

How can you tell your car’s wearing out Simple. Blowby. And what is blowby you ask Well, if you’re using a lot of oil between changes. Then you’ve got blowby. If you loosen your oil cap and then start your car and your oil cap shakes around, then you’ve got blowby. If oil splashes out then you’ve got blowby and your car is mad at you. Now turn it off before you make a mess. You could spend three thousand dollars And up to two weeks with a mechanic. Or you could buy a new car. Or just use these small tubes of CerTech Gels.

Just put it in your oil and as you drive millions of microscopic mechanics start patching damaged engine services with deeprooted ceramics rebuilding parts so that they fit together again. Only this time with a smoother surface that is harder than what the factory put on. But you don’t need to worry about spaceage nanotechnology with a face like that. Do you Ten years in commercial use and it’s got a 100 percent safety rating and if it doesn’t work You get your money back. Give these guys a call and see if CerTech Gels are.

The Unexpected SideEffects Of Colorados Cannabis Boom

At the foothills of the Rockies, Denver’s always been known as the Mile High City. These days, that’s taken on a whole new meaning. Who else needs weed We have weed, anybody else need weed On this bus out of Denver, the tour guide is packing bongs with highgrade cannabis all legal under new state laws. The state of Colorado allows me to give you my weed for free, I can’t charge you for it, but all adults over the age of 21 are allowed to possess and consume up to an ounce of marijuana.

Matt Brown is a former promarijuana lobbyist turned entrepreneur whose bus tours push the boundaries of drug tourism by providing passengers with some of Colorado’s finest weed. We’re here at Red Rocks. Just a quick reminder for all of you who are from out of town in the state of Colorado, you’re allowed to use marijuana inside. So, inside the bus we’re fine. Inside your hotel room you’re fine. Here at Red Rocks, it’s not technically legal. If you do decide to take anything in, I don’t want to know about it. However, this is the.

Most beautiful amphitheatre on earth. Everything about Colorado’s better with a little bit of weed. 150 years ago, Colorado hosted one of the biggest gold rushes in American history. Now, a new economic miracle is unfolding. It was Colorado’s gold rush and the completion of the transcontinental railroad that enabled westward expansion and the birth of American industry. Today, a unique social experiment is taking place here, where marijuana has been reimagined not as an illicit substance, but as a product to be regulated and taxed like any other. With Colorado’s weed revolution in full swing, I’ve come to Denver to see if it’s turning.

Into the new Amsterdam. We do not buy cannabis from unlicensed sources. We produce 100 of the cannabis that is sold to our patients. In a downtown warehouse, Norton Arbelaez is showing me his field of dreams. Prepping the plant for drying and curing. As the owner of River Rock Wellness Centre, he’s riding the wave of Colorado’s cannabis boom. This is the nursery part of the facility. From January 1 next year, medical marijuana facilities will open their doors to anyone over the age of 21. You come onto the floor, where our cannabis consultants will be waiting for you.

Here, customers are treated to an experience that lies somewhat between that of a pharmacy and a bottle shop. What we have here now is a selection of both flowers, which is the buds of the actual cannabis plant this is what you’re going to see in these jars here. They have really colourful names, as you see. That’s not by mistake. In the cannabis cultivation world, much like you have sauvignon blanc or you have a Merlot, these names actually tell us the provenance and lineage of these particular strains.

In Denver alone, there are more than 360 dispensaries like Norton’s, a number that will only rise now that the right to use marijuana has been enshrined in Colorado’s constitution. This is our tracking software. It’s called BioTrackTHC. Selling cannabis remains illegal under US federal law. But Colorado’s highly sophisticated seedtosale system has worked so well that the federal government has announced it is officially adopting a handsoff policy. We actually create a bar code for every single plant, and that bar code follows the plant all the way through its life. These plants are now flowering, as you see. They probably.

Have another six or seven weeks to go. Importantly, the same tags that we saw earlier follow the plant through its life cycle, and so at any point, the regulators can come in here, look at our records, scan the plants, and make sure that what we are producing lines up with the reports that we have. By following Colorado’s strict new rules, young entrepreneurs like Norton are sharing in the proceeds of the state’s marijuana bonanza. With its new legal status, cannabis culture is flourishing, and every few months the smoking.

Tribes gather to sample the best products on offer. This is the 710 Cup, a twoday festival celebrating the finest hashish and the immensely popular hash oil. A bottle of that would keep how many people going Dude, we could probably take that jar right there and get everybody here high. Yeah, everybody in this party everybody here. It’s an opportunity to gain a glimpse inside one of the fastestgrowing drug subcultures in America. It’s called dabbing, due to the practice of dabbing hash oil paste on to the redhot smoking pipes and inhaling the powerful vapour it creates.

Some of these concentrates can get as pure as 93 raw THC. That’s no way. you can’t get bud anywhere near that level. For these young connoisseurs, it’s all about the ultimate high. Not everyone is caught up in the euphoria. I’m travelling deep into the Rocky Mountains to meet a man who says he’s already dealing with the knockon effects of a lax drug policy. How many times a day do you think he’s smoking pot So he’s using at school If you find bags and scales, he’s dealing. Aaron Huey claims that since the laws were introduced, teen marijuana abuse and dependency.

Have skyrocketed. When was the last time you searched his room His Fire Mountain rehab centre for teenagers addicted to marijuana is already at full capacity. I’ve got 22 people on my waitlist, and I’m not the only program out there. Other people have waitlists. But it was never 22. I never had this number and never at this time of year. This is the first time I’m experiencing this. So is it getting worse Our numbers say so. This is the waitlist here. These are all the intake forms that we get to go through.

Using at school yes. Using at school yes. Using at school yes. For teenagers at risk of drug abuse, Aaron Huey says Colorado’s drug policy will provide a ready path to addiction. Will it be easier for these kids who are struggling with addiction and have low emotional intelligence to get high if we legalise weed Of course it will. Because more adults are gonna have it. Where do you think these kids are getting it They’re getting it from adults. Would you say that American kids, generally, are at far greater risk than they were in.

The past In terms of access to drugs and the variety of drug I’m gonna say kids are, because we’ve glorified it. The media’s glorified it. Dear mom, when I was in college, I used to drink a lot. It was kind of crazy. But now that I’m older, I prefer to use marijuana. It’s less harmful to my body. I don’t get hungover. And honestly, I feel safer around marijuana users. In the leadup to Colorado’s historic vote, promarijuana lobbyists launched this slick ad campaign with its portrayal of pot use as a safer alternative to alcohol.

Around the world, people have been misled to believe that marijuana is far more harmful than it actually is. There’s really just no excuse for punishing people who are making a rational, safer choice to use marijuana instead of alcohol, if that’s what they prefer. The architect of the ad campaign was lobbyist Mason Tvert, and this is the moment he’d been waiting for. History in the making here, folks amendment to the state constitution making marijuana legal here! Mason’s campaign is widely credited with securing Colorado’s ground breaking new laws.

Ultimately, we can take sales out of the underground market, generate tens of millions of dollar each year in tax revenue here in our state, and really make this a safer and healthier community for everyone. We all know where the money from nonmedical marijuana sales. It’s the cannabis tax that makes Colorado’s system unique. At 25, it’s a pot of gold..and tax revenues would pay for public services. This year, the state is expecting to rake in more than $250 million, a windfall that will only increase with new dispensaries sprouting up across the city.

2009 was the gold rush year. We went from five or so in the entire city to 329 by the end of the year. It exploded. People were just grabbing up any property that they thought might work as either a dispensary or grow operation, anywhere that was seemingly commercial. With Colorado’s cannabis trade booming, Matt Brown says the benefits are clear. On Denver’s outskirts, he shows me how longdormant industrial sites are undergoing a marijuanaled revival. We have something completely unique in this neighbourhood and in Colorado that you don’t.

Find anywhere else in the world that is, largescale industrial cultivation facilities on this side of the street, on the other side of the street, really on every building and every block in this entire neighbourhood. And right there in the middle, we have the District 1 police station. Under new laws, local governments get the final say on whether or not marijuana can be sold within their boundaries, and some councils including the neighbouring city of Aurora have ruled against it. We’re here on the border between Denver and Aurora. When it comes to marijuana, one of.

The biggest differences is the city of Aurora bans all marijuana businesses. On that side of the post, you have cultivation operations, dispensaries, enormous amounts of retail and general construction buildout. The city of Aurora has missed all of that. You can see on Colfax, on this side, it’s still rundown, it’s very similar to the areas just a few blocks up the street that are in Denver, but because the city has said no, the city of Aurora has missed out on the hundreds of millions of dollars of investment that the city of.

Denver has benefited from. And more vicious, more deadly, even than these souldestroying drug is the menace of marijuana. Nothing illustrates the hysteria surrounding marijuana better than the 1936 film ‘Reefer Madness’ a period in history when Colorado was generating its own national headlines. In 1937, prior to our federal legislation, it says, New agency battles to destroy narcotic that leads to eventual insanity after making beasts of its victims. Quite evocative language, isn’t it Right. And this is a great bold quote. This is some marijuana they’re showing in the same.

Article and it says Dynamite that blasts souls. In fact, the very first prosecution under federal marijuana laws took place here in Denver, an event that was no accident, according to local cannabis historian Gregory Daurer. This is Larimer Street, and back in the 1930s it was a happening nightlife spot, as well as kind of a skid row area. There were a lot of bars. There were pool halls where there were a lot of marijuana vendors. If you couldn’t buy marijuana on this street in 1933, something was wrong with you.

Although Larimer Street’s illicit reputation is rooted in the past, an unmistakable aroma lingers once more. I can smell that marijuana very strongly around here. You will smell it around here, you’ll smell it at bus stops in Denver, you’ll smell it on public transportation. Ahh, you can smell the delightful aroma of the raw plant material. At Dixie Elixirs’ Denver facility, I’ve come to see where the future of commercial cannabis is heading. This was the morphine facility for the state of Colorado. And now we make infused goods with medical cannabis. We have some examples of the 75 milligram sparkling THCinfused.

Elixirs. Marketing manager Christie Lunsford is eager to show me around the product lines that have been developed for the nonsmoking sector of the market. Here we have the cannabis vault for Dixie Elixirs Edibles, where we store all of our finished THCinfused goods. Here we have ginger mango dew drops, medicated rice crispy treat, chocolate truffle. There’s eight new states that are considering marijuana for adult use. Dixie Elixirs is owned by businessman Tripp Keber, who makes no secret of his aim to make big bucks out of Colorado’s new weed laws.

I’m not were wearing a Bob Marley Tshirt. I do not have dreadlocks in my hair. I’m business. And I’ve taken a very, very calculated approach in which to build my business to position it to be at the apex, and I don’t apologise for that. Tripp is convinced that the economic model that Colorado has developed around cannabis will spread quickly now that the federal government has given tacit approval. I believe, in the nottoodistant future, potentially as little as six to seven years, we will see the tipping point where cannabis will be legalised at the federal level. I.

Think we’ll have more than 50 of the United States with some form of legalised cannabis in the year 2016. And from there, it just becomes a debate as to when, not necessarily how. I’m frustrated. I’m sad. I’m sad that this is what’s important. Aaron Huey is ashamed of Colorado’s druglaw reforms, and worries about the domino effect it’s likely to have throughout America. This argument about weed it’s crap, and it’s a smokescreen. And kids are still suffering and they’re still dying, and parents are still losing their children.

What’s it a smokescreen for It’s a smokescreen for not dealing with the real problem. I believe that, because of this move, we are going to be in a grey area where we have no specifics and no really enforceable laws because the law is gonna be we’ll try to figure this out for the next couple of years. As Colorado moves forward, its brave new world is firmly taking shape, hoping to pave the way for a more tolerant society and to serve as a legal and economic model for the rest.

Run Fat Boy Run

BING CROSBY’S NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT PLAYING ltigt Holdin’ hands at midnight ‘Neath a starry sky ltigt BOY LAUGHS, GIRL SCREAMS ltigt Nice work if you can get it ltigt ltigt And you can get it If you try ltigt ltigt Strollin’ with that one girl Sighin’ sigh after sigh ltigt ltigt Nice work if you can get it ltigt ltigt And you can get it If you try ltigt LAUGHTER ltigt Just imagine someone ltigt ltigt Waitin’ at the cottage door ltigt.

Ltigt Where two hearts Become one ltigt ltigt Who could ask For anything more ltigt Mmm! That looks good enough to eat. Oh. Thank you. I wasn’t talking about the cake. Oh, Gordon. You’re my cousin. Never stopped the royal family. You’re a very sick man. Mm. Hi. WOMAN Hi. GORDON You’re yummy. Oh, Mum, would you take Grandma over to the church, please Yes. Come on, sweetheart. So, you wanna tell Dennis that we’re ready Sure thing. How’s he doing Oh, great. Thrilled. I’m telling you, he’s thrilled.

DEEP BREATH, EXHALES PANTING KNOCK ON DOOR Dennis, it’s Gordon. Are you ready DOOR OPENS Wow! You look great! WHIMPERING So, are you ready Um. just. Okay. I’m gonna give you a minute to, uh. give you a minute. WHINES, THUD INDISTINCT CONVERSATION LOUD THUMPING No, no. I don’t want to. Don’t want to. Ah. THUD CHURCH BELLS RINGING Dennis! It’s time. Dennis, we have to go. ltigt HEART BEATINGltigt WHINING, LOUD THUD, KNOCKING GORDON Dennis! Dennis! WHIMPERING CHURCH BELLS RINGING SONG ECHOING ltigt Where two hearts Become one. ltigt LIBBY Dennis, we’re gonna have a baby.

Dennis. Dennis SONG ECHOINGltigt Who could ask For anything more ltigt CHURCH BELLS RINGING Aw, shit. GUESTS SHOUTING Dennis! Dennis! DENNIS PANTING ltigt I’m sorry, sorry, sorry If you’re gettin’ me wrong ltigt ltigt But you’re half a world away With only one sock on ltigt ltigt Now you’re gettin’ too much, I don’t want to play along ltigt ltigt ‘Cause all I really wanted Was a radio song ltigt ltigt What is there to say ltigt ltigt What is there to say ltigt ltigt In a world so gray ltigt.

Ltigt In a world so gray ltigt ltigt Why, oh, why, oh, why Are we singing it anyway ltigt Come on! ltigt ‘Cause you think I had ltigt ltigt A windup heart. ltigt Stop! LAUGHING Come back! Give me a break! ltigt When you copied Everything I said ltigt ltigt When the tide of love is out And the rust begins to show ltigt ltigt You’re cryin’ In your sleep ltigt ltigt Scared of your shadow ltigt ltigt If you thought This was forever ltigt.

GRUNTING Gotcha. Where is it Where’s what You know what I’m talkin’ about! Ooh! Hey! Hey! All right! What do you think this is, huh I’ve never seen those in my life. Yeah, and you’re a fit, running type. You bastard. Don’t. Little shit! Nothing to see here, people. Ow! PANTING Where’s the bra What bra TAPPING ON WINDOW Whoo! Come on, fat boy, run! I’m not fat! I’m just I’m unfit. Go on, then. Ow! GROANS DOOR BUZZER BUZZES MAN ON INTERCOMltigt Yesltigt Could you let me in, please, Mr. G.

Who the hell are you You Why are we It’s Dennis Doyle from downstairs. Dennis Doyle from downstairs is dead. Killed by his landlord. Do you know why No. Failure to pay the rent in a timely fashion. Dennis! Hey, Maya. Listen, can you tell your dad I’m in a bit of a hurry Have you got any money Maya, go inside! MR. G SHOUTING IN HINDI And put something on. SIGHS Hello. Hello. SNAPPING Yes Do you know what happened to that landlord after he killed Dennis Doyle from downstairs.

No. They gave him a medal and a nice foot massage. Hey. Mr. Ghoshdashtidar. Mr. Ghoshdashtidar, w DOOR BUZZES SIGHS GANDALF ON TVltigt Well, how is the old rascalltigt ltigt I hear it’s going to be a party of special magnificence.ltigt ltigt You know Bilbo.ltigt ltigt He’s got the whole place in an uproar.ltigt ltigt Mm. Ah, well, that should please him.ltigt MOVIE CONTINUING IN BACKGROUND Jake, your dad’s gonna be here in a minute. You ready Ready! FRODOltigt All right, then, keep your secrets.ltigt ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO Hey.

Ltigt You give me tone ltigt Hey. ltigt I’ll like that ltigt Hey, how’s it goin’ Oh, yeah. ltigt All the chrome ltigt ltigt I’ll like that ltigt Dennis. Yeah, Dennis. ltigt Do you run away ltigt You like, uh, to have some sort of drink with me Oh, what the hell. Let’s just Mm! Mm! Mm! Ow, shit! Oh! WHIT Hah! JAKE Aah! WHIT Oh, no. Oh, you got me! Hi. Hi. We’re playing Hobbits and Orcs. Mmhm. Guess who’s an Orc LAUGHING Honey, would you mind, uh.

This kind of smarts. Can you Oh, yeah. Thank you. JAKE I’m not finished with you, Whit! Yeah, one sec. Uh, I thought his dad was picking him up. What happened Oh, what happened Dennis happened. Hmm. Well, on the bright side. Hmm.you look astonishingly beautiful today. JAKE Whit! Really. DOORBELL CHIMES FRUSTRATED LAUGH Where have you been Hey. I was JAKE Daddy! Hey. Snotface! Oh, please don’t call him that. Why He is a snotface, isn’t he You are a snotface, aren’t you Huh LAUGHS Oh. LAUGHING Aw! LAUGHING Jake, that’s disgusting.

Jake, that’s disgusting. Go on. Toilet first. Mom! Go on. And grab your jacket. You were supposed to be here an hour ago, Dennis. Yeah, there was a bit of a mixup with the With the tickets, so. Hey, you look really nice. Did I get you that necklace No. It was a. Just a present from someone.else. Who WHIT Uh, me, actually. LIBBY Oh, yeah. Huh It belonged to my grandmother. Yeah. Huh Dennis, this is my good friend, Whit. Whit, this is my Jake’s dad, Dennis. How you doin’.

Good, yeah. You have soft hands. Do you moisturize I do, actually. Well, it’s very nice to meet you. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. I’d have thought you’d have. You would have seen one of our photos. Oh, there aren’t any. Hmm. Ready Yes. Let’s go. LIBBY Have fun. DENNIS Yeah. Dennis, youltigt doltigt have the tickets. Right Libby, credit me with some intelligence. DENNIS SCOFFS CROWD CHATTERING DENNIS Tickets! Does anybody have any tickets! Mate, my daughter’s not very well. Got a couple of spare tickets if you want ’em.

Thank you so much. How much Oh, whatever. Uh, this is all the money I have. Yeah My son is gonna love me. You want your son to love you Don’t break the law. Hey, that’s entrapment. Oh, God! DENNIS And that’s brutality! SIREN WAILING Libby. It’s It’s only a caution. No. Uh, Libby, I’ll JAKE Bye, Dad. Libby. CAR DOOR CLOSES SIGHS So do you work with Libby at the bakery No. CHUCKLING We met at the bakery though. Oh, yeah Yeah. CHUCKLES What No, I just was a nervous wreck that day.

It took me four chocolate eclairs and a macaroon just to get up the courage to talk to her. LAUGHS Uh, no, I work in the financial district, actually. I’m a hedge fund manager for Waterman Hughes. Oh. I do highlevel security analysis and operation for an upscale retail outlet. Really Libby said you were a security guard at a women’s clothing store. Yeah, that’s what I said. LAUGHS Yeah. Right. Uh, well, I CHUCKLES I should probably get a cab. I got a big run in the morning. A big what.

A run I’m training for the Nike River Run next month. The whaty what what The Nike River Run. It’s a marathon race along the, uh, Thames River. Why would you do that Uh, well, it’s a charity thing, you know. Plus, I love to run. I actually ran the London Marathon a little while ago. Oh, that’s a coincidence. Oh, yeah How’s that I watched it on the television. Ah. Well, the last hour. I sleep in on a Sunday, so. Right. Um, well, look, you know, I know these things can be pretty awkward, you know.

I mean, you know, you’re Jake’s dad. And, uh, well, I just want you to know that.I like Libby. and Jake very, very much. And, um, well, I just appreciate your being so grown up about this, you know Hey! Yo! You wanna take this one No, you have it. You sure Yeah. I’ll get the next one. All right. Very nice to meet you. Yeah. I’m sure I’ll see you around. Yup. Hope so. Hello, good sir. West India Quay, please. Bye. Bye. See ya. Byebye. ltigt BUS ENGINE RUMBLESltigt.

EXHALES ltigt CHURCH BELLS RINGINGltigt GORDON Dennis! GORDON Dennis! LIBBYltigt Dennisltigt LIBBYltigt Close your eyes.ltigt DENNISltigt Huhltigt Close your eyes. Oh. Okay. Open them. Happy Valentine’s. LAUGHING That’s great. INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE LIBBY Dennis! Dennis! MOUTHS Hi. INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO MUSIC REVERBERATING THROUGH WALLS COUGHING Hey, Vincent. Dennis. How’s business What do you mean, business Sorry. DENNIS Gordon. WOMAN Shh. Hush now, man. All right. Three thousand. This is all I’ve got. Just throw whatever you have in the pot. Okay. Flush, king high. Ace high. LAUGHTER What happened.

Bad luck, mate. Oh. Oh, hey, I got you those tickets. They were for yesterday. So now you don’t want ’em Why would I want them Put them on eBay. Who’s gonna wanna buy tickets for something that happened yesterday Time travelers. Where were you The whole night was just screwed, man, and I looked like a prick in front of Libby’s new boyfriend. Oh, you didn’t tell me she has a new boyfriend. What’s he like Handsome, welloff, friendly. He’s like Peter Perfect out ofltigt Wacky Races.ltigt And he runs marathons.

Why Exactly. Well, look, my only serious relationship ended in a broken collarbone and a dead meerkat, so I may not be the best person in the world to give advice, but you have been trying to get through to Libby for five years now. So maybe you should let her go. Yeah, what is her problem Dennis, you left her at the altar when she was pregnant. But that was ages ago. Well, women remember that stuff. Look, if there’s anything else I can do to help, just let me know.

Well, actually, I am a little bit behind in my rent. I was wondering if you had a couple of hundred quid I could maybe borrow. LAUGHING Oh, I love you. I really do. I needed that actually. That’s great. Thank you. I’ll see you later. DENNIS MAKING FART SOUND Ah! JAKE How about this one FART SOUND DENNIS LAUGHING I bet you can’t do it. JAKE MAKING FART SOUND I can do a big one. Go on. FART NOISES LAUGHING WHISPERING Look, look, look. FART NOISE That was a good one.

Yeah. Listen. I’m really sorry about getting you arrested yesterday. That’s all right. Most universities don’t even look at things like that these days. WHISPERING Hey. Another one. MAN As far as I’m concerned, what else do you have MAN 2 She was great. Yeah, well, she is Ooh! LAUGHING Shh. MAN Sorry. Um, but, yeah, so I think Do you want to hear a secret Absolutely. There’s a girl in my class called Emily. Well, I’m sure that’s not a secret. The teachers probably know about her. She looks like a tree frog.

She what She looks like a tree frog. LAUGHING That’s not a very nice thing to say. I like tree frogs. Oh, yeah More than Hobbits I see. I really feel we can make a life together. You really think we can Wait, that sounds like something Whit would say. He did say it. What To Mom Yes. What a shithead. Dad. Sorry. Listen, I’m really glad you were such a big boy about not gettin’ into the whole ltigt Lord of the Ringsltigt thing, you know That’s okay. Whit’s got us front row seats for tomorrow,.

So it’s even better. What a shithead. Dad! LAUGHING Well. DAVID BOWIE’S QUEEN BITCH PLAYING Hm. ltigt Ah, yeah ltigt ltigt Oh, yeah ltigt ltigt I’m up On the 11th floor ltigt ltigt And I’m watchin’ The cruisers below ltigt ltigt He’s down on the street ltigt ltigt And he’s tryin’ hard To pull sister Flo ltigt ltigt Oh, my heart’s In the basement ltigt ltigt My weekend’s At an alltime low ltigt ltigt ‘Cause she’s hopin’ To score ltigt ltigt So I can’t see her Letting him go ltigt.

Ltigt You betcha ltigt ltigt Oh, yeah ltigt ltigt Uhhuh ltigt SPEAKING JAPANESE Deliveries are downstairs. PHONE RINGING No, I’m Waterman Hughes. SPEAKING RUSSIAN Yes ltigt Bonjour.ltigt SPEAKING FRENCH DENNIS Whit! Thanks for your help. So, what brings you down here, man A little, uh, highlevel security analysis in retail operation Huh What can I do for you I’m just on my way to the gym. I got a spin class. Huh Spinning You know, spinning Bicycles Oh, okay. No, I was thinking more along the lines of a pint.

A pint Oh, a pint. Uh, wow. Um, I’d love a pint, actually, but, uh, I really gotta hit this class. I’m in training, you know Oh, you wanna come along Uh, it’s an amazing workout. I I’d love to. But I don’t have any gear, so Well, I’ll lend you some. Great. INSTRUCTORltigt Three, two, one!ltigt We’re climbing! We’re in the Swiss Alps! Push! Push! Push! Push! DENNIS GROANING You look good! No cheating! Let’s go! LOUD MUSIC PLAYING How you doing there You all right What’d you say Out of the saddle! We’re climbing!.

DENNIS GROANING Okay, let’s make it really hard! GROANS So, what did you wanna talk to me about, man Uh.oh. Ow! GROANING Jake said you had some tickets to the, uh. To the Hobbit musical. Yeah. Friend of mine’s an investor in the show. He totally hooked me up. Can you believe that Hmm. Um. I was just thinking, um. you know, you don’t really wanna sit through a whole sort of threehour kind of show, do you So. Well, the thing is. PATTING ON POWDER Oh. Jake’s really kind of.

Got his heart set on this, you know Yeah. Powder I’m fine. You sure Refreshing. I would imagine it is. I was just I’m thinkin’ maybe, you know, if you like, then I could maybe take Jake and Libby for you, iiif If you want. Look, I know you must be kind of angry at yourself for messing up with the tickets the other night, and, uh, I’d like to help you. I really would. But, um. Well, the thing is, I hope to be more and more a part of Jake’s life, you know.

And, uh, frankly, I’m kind of looking forward to this show. Give Jake and I a chance to get to know each other better. I mean, uh, you can see my point, can’t you Yes, I can. So, can I ask you a question Sure. You had her once. Why did you ever let her go To be honest, Whit Whoa, whoa, I’d just be careful on the stairs here. Your legs might be a little rubbery. SCOFFS I’m fine. SCREAMING Oh! Aah! Oh, sorry. Sorry. I’m fine. I’m Yeah. The first step is often the, uh.

The difficult one. ON ANSWERING MACHINEltigt This is Libby. Leave me a message.ltigt DENNISltigt Hey, Lib. It’s me. Can you give me a ringltigt EXASPERATED SCREAM BUZZES Who the hell are you Just open the bloody door. Okay. WINDOW CLOSES EXHALES KEYS JINGLING CASH REGISTER RINGING There you go. Enjoy. WOMAN Thank you. LIBBY LAUGHS Fortyeight. Yes. Hello. Dennis, I’m really busy. Can we talk No. Just buy something or go. Okay. I Can I have one of your signature cupcakes, please Actually, can I have this big one Dennis.

That one’s fine, and, uh, I like that one too. Anything else Um, yeah. What do you see in Whit Uh, 49. Yes, I’m 49. What can I get for you No, I’m not done yet. Yes, you are. Sorry, I think you’ve used up your allotted time. You don’t You don’t have allotted time, okay Now you’re using up my allotted time. You don’t get allotted time, okay It’s not like a game show, you know. You got, like, 15 seconds to win a bun. LAUGHS Goodbye, Dennis. Yes Yes.

CLEARS THROAT Hello, yes. Um, do you have any of those little gingerbread rabbits Oh, no. We just have those at Easter. I’m so sorry. Oh. Hmm. CLEARS THROAT MAN SOFTLY MOANS Do you have anything else shaped like an animal Excuse me. What I haven’t paid for my order. I’m sorry. Excuse me. Yep. Excuse me. PLATES RATTLE Ow! Sorry. Seriously, what do you see in him Okay, he’s welloff, all right He’s He’s quite goodlooking, you know But I mean, so what Is that what you think this is about.

I just want some gorgeous sugar daddy. I wouldn’t say gorgeous. Well, that’s not why I’m with him. Well, why are you with him You know, give me one good reason. One I could give you 50. I’m 50! Hang on a minute! LIBBY He’s mature, responsible, considerate, he’s great with Jake. That’s only four. Hello LIBBY You know what He’s a good man, Dennis. You know, he runs marathons for charity, for Pete’s sake. Oh, big deal. So you could run a marathon WOMAN Could I have a chocolate brownie, please.

Hang on! Oh! Look, Libby, I can change. Yeah Well, great. Let’s get married. Heh. Really No! We tried that once, remember You left me at the altar, pregnant. CUSTOMERS GASP You prick. Look, Libby, I can change, okay Iltigt haveltigt changed. I can prove it. How I’ll tell you. I will run the marathon. What The one that Whit’s doing. I’ll run that. And I’ll finish it. Come on, you’ve never finished anything in your entire life, Dennis. Oh, now, you That’s not Look, you can’t even finish a sentence.

DENNIS Don’t SIGHS You’re just being, what’s the word Prick I would settle for something shaped like a fish. Well, go to the fishmonger! I’m a vegetarian. Okay. Okay. Dennis, just please leave. Okay. Okay, I’ll go. But I’m gonna prove this to you, Libby. I can be mature, considerate and responsible. MAN Oh! Dennis Yes, Libby It’s two pounds, seventyfive. DENNIS Oh, yeah. Right. ltigt LAUGHTERltigt If Dennis thinks he can run the race, he can run the race. Thank you. CLAUDINE There’s no way you can run a marathon.

Why not ‘Cause you is a lazy bastard. Hey, I’ll have you know I go to spin classes. You went to one. Yeah, and now you walk like John Wayne. LAUGHTER Hey, this is important to me. MOCKING LAUGHTER I mean it! Look, I’m sick of being a nearly man. All right I’m sick of being scared. I’m sick of the regret I feel every day ’cause I didn’t have the guts to marry the woman I love! HEROIC THEME PLAYING All that ends tomorrow at 6 a.m. MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS.

Ohh! THE FRATELLIS’ CHELSEA DAGGER PLAYING ltigt Ow! ltigt ltigt Do, dodo do, Dododo, dodo dodo do ltigt ltigt Do dodo do, Dododo, dodo dodo do ltigt ltigt Do dodo do, Dododo, dodo dodo do ltigt ltigt Do dodo do, Dododo, dodo dodo do ltigt PANTING, MOANING WHISPERS Not bad. GROANS Hi. SHOUTS, COUGHS Feel better Much. Oh. How was spin class Uh, it was. It was an amazing workout. Is that right Yeah. And I also thought it would be a good chance for me to get to know Whit.

A little bit better, so. Well, maybe we should all go out for dinner then. You think Yeah. And then we could go dancing. You’re joking. No, not at all. And then, afterwards, we could come back here and have a threesome. Oh. Youltigt areltigt joking. Of course I am. Look, Dennis, I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but whatever it is, I don’t like it. There’s nothing JAKE Daddy! Hey, buddy. You ready for school Yes. WHIT Wait up, wait up. Wait up a sec.

Can I walk with you guys Okay. I’ll see you later. Okay. Mmm. Mwah! Bye. Byebye. All right. You ready JAKE Yeah. PEOPLE CHATTERING So, Whit, you were, uh, ’round at Libby’s pretty early, eh Whit stayed over last night. Oh Yes. They were jumping on the bed. CAR HORN HONKS DENNIS Wow. Hey, Jakey, guess what Uh, I spoke to my friend, and he does have an extra ticket for the show tonight. What do you say we, uh, ask Emily to come along Yay! Yay. What, he told you about Emily.

Oh, yeah. Oh, and, uh. Libby tells me that you decided to run the marathon Yeah. That’s great, man. Seriously. Really, that’s awesome. Thank you. How did you get in What do you mean Well, you can’t just show up and run. Well, why not You have to apply in advance. Well, how far in advance Uh, three months. And when is it again Three weeks. Right. They’ll make exceptions sometimes if you’re running for a charity, but, uh, you know, each charity is only allowed a certain amount of runners.

No, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll get in. All right. You ever, uh, run a marathon before No, why It’s pretty grueling. Well, yeah. That’s why they call it a marathon. CHUCKLES Yeah, actually, technically, it’s called a marathon because of the events of 490 B.C. There was a Greek soldier named Phei Can I just stop you there Yep. I’ve got nothing to say. I just wanted to stop you there. All right, all right. Hello. Is that the Cats Protection League Hello. I was just.

I’m running a marathon next month, and I was wondering if I could possibly run on your behalf Great. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I see. Hhow big is the costume Okay. I’ll call you back. SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS GROANING Ooh. Hi. Dennis. Oh. Yes Do you mind not doing that in front of the customers Sorry. I went for a run this morning in my trunks, and I think I’ve got a bit of a rash, you know, down there in the, uh. I understand..scrotal zone. I understand, Dennis.

Okay. Please.keep your hands out of the scrotal zone whilst you’re at work. Will do. CUSTOMERS CHATTERING EXHALES RUBBING ON PANTS RATTLING Shh. Dennis! Sorry. I was, um. in the zone. LAUGHS THE RUMBLE STRIPS’ GIRLS AND BOYS IN LOVE PLAYING DENNIS So, um, I’d actually be dressed as a brain. Um, can I call you back INHALES ltigt Just ’cause you think it ltigt ltigt It don’t make it so ltigt ltigt Drive you to drink ltigt CRASH ltigt Won’t let you go ltigt ltigt Plenty of girls And boys in love ltigt.

Come on! ltigt Plenty of girls. ltigt God! GROANING Would you like a cup of tea, Dennis TEA CUP CLINKS So that’s it. Running this marathon could be my last chance to show Libby that I can change. SIPPING TEA LOUDLY Mm. You know what I would do if I were you What I would get some cream for that rash. Let me ask you something, Dennis. Why did you leave your lady at the altar when she was pregnant I don’t know. Just wasn’t ready. The toothpaste was already out of the tube, my friend.

Being ready had nothing to do with it. I was scared. Mmm. So you are a coward. I I thought we were just gonna have a cup of tea. You did not think you were good enough. SNAPS FINGERS Am I right You thought of your lady, and you were terrified you could not give her what she needed, what she deserved. I thought the same things on the day I married Mrs. Ghoshdashtidar. CHUCKLING May she rest. Did you Yes. But guess what It turned out Iltigt wasltigt good enough.

I made myself good enough. You did a stupid thing, Dennis. But she loved you once, and you must have earned that somehow. SIGHS Yeah. Did you have a good marriage, Mr. Ghoshdashtidar Ah. CHUCKLES I remember the feeling of being complete. Of spending every day with my best friend. But most of all. CHUCKLES.I remember. all the humping. Mmm. Mmm. PIRATE ACCENT Oh, three degrees starboard, skipper. Hey, hey, I’m the captain. Mutiny! Mutiny! Haha! Whoa! WHIT PIRATE ACCENT Ahoy there, me lad. LIBBY Hey, Jakey. Sorry, we’re late, love.

Soon as Whit found out we were meeting here, he had to go get his vessel. CHUCKLES Jakey, here. Flip that switch. No, not that one. That one. LOUD BANGS, LIBBY GASPS Whoa! Can I steer it No. But you can watch me steer it. Mutiny. JAKE GIGGLES WHIT Spin it around here. Hey. You wanna. Was he okay Yeah, he’s fine. We had a really nice time until Captain Bligh turned up. Whit just likes to take things very seriously. WHIT PIRATE ACCENT Prepare to be boarded, or feel the hot wrath.

Of her majesty’s royal fusillade! LOUD BANGS, DUCKS QUACKING, FLYING Wait, don’t touch that. Wait, wait. JAKE Why won’t you let me steer it WHIT Uh, it’s mine. So you’re still gonna run in this marathon Yes, absolutely. It’s gonna be great. You’re gonna see a whole new Dennis. Right. Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and the thing is, I don’t care. What do you mean Dennis, what do you think you’re gonna achieve Do you honestly think that running 26 miles is just gonna wipe the slate clean You might change your mind when you see me in jogging shorts.

SCOFFS REMOTE CONTROL SPEED BOAT BUZZING LIBBY Look, Whit’s having a birthday party for me in a couple of weeks, and it would mean a lot to Jake if you came. To Jake SPEED BOAT BUZZING WHIT Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, okay. Whose boat is this Whose boat.is this! Excuse me! Is Is this your boat! SPLASH MICKEY LAUGHS No way! CLAUDINE He’s toast. He won’t last. DOOR OPENS MICKEY Would you like some pizza, Dennis DENNIS Oh. Yes, I would actually. Thank you very much. Ow! Come here. What are you doing that Stop it.

Are you still gonna do this Are you still gonna run the marathon I want to, yes. SIGHS Thank God. DENNIS LAUGHS Why Because I just bet them every penny I have. What You bet on me Dennis, you’re my best friend. I’m not gonna bet against you. Well, thank you. Not with these odds. What if I don’t finish Vincent will kill you. Oh, you’ll finish. How can you be so sure Wake up! Get up, get up. DENNIS SCREAMS Get up, get up, get up, get up! So, you’re gonna be my coach.

That’s right. Why are you here I’m the assistant coach. Why are you assistant coach Because I have this spatula. WHACKS Ow! Go on. Get running. Wait. Isn’t there some sort of special technique Yeah, you put one leg in front of the other over and over again really fast. LAUGHING Why are you here again WHACK Ow! Motivation. ltigt I said, yeah ltigt ltigt I said, yeah ltigt ltigt What they said. ltigt DENNIS COUGHING GORDON Lift your knees higher! You’re not gonna get anywhere like that!.

You’ve gotta slide more. ltigt What they said ltigt COUGHING MR. G Come on, Dennis! You want to feel my spatula! No, I do not! Then run! Run like the wind! COUGHING This is harder for me, you know. ltigt Come on And put the charge on me ltigt Ow! ltigt I wouldn’t do that ltigt MR. G Come on, Dennis! Come on! GORDON Lookin’ good! ltigt To hurt myself ltigt Come on, Dennis. Keep up the pace. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. ltigt They was wrong ltigt.

I think I got a blister. ltigt They were wrong ltigt Okay. Yeah. Gently. All right. Okay! Oh! All right. Is it bad No, it’s not that bad. No. No. It’s not. Ohh! Oh, that’s big. Look at that thing. It’s like a womb. Don’t. Hey, maybe there’s a little man in there who looks like you, but he’s really good at running. What are you talking about! Just a thought. You’re gonna have to pop it. LAUGHING No. No way. Never pop another man’s pustule. Well, I’ll do it then. Give me the needle.

That’s the closest I could get. It’s fine. I sterilized it. In what It’s sterilized. QUIETLY Okay, okay. Here we go. EXHALES MOANING Ooh, you’re gonna get it. Stick it in. Pop it! I can’t! Why not It’s scary! Give it to me. Just do it slow! Do it gently, okay Yeah. Trust me. After three, okay Okay. One. SCREAMING Ohh! It’s in it! Yah! Get it out! Ugh! Take it out! Hold still! Hold still! Get it! WHIMPERING LIQUID SPURTS Aah! GROANING I’m so sorry. That’s never happened before. Oh! Oh!.

GORDON GROANING, WATER RUNNING I’m Catholic. WATER STOPS Oh! That was the second most disgusting fluid I’ve ever had in my eye. KNOCK ON DOOR Who’s that That’s Mr. G. Get something nice on. Something respectable. Where we going Every year, literally hundreds of people are affected by acute neurocortical emphasitis, or Hapsburg syndrome. MAN I see. And how does the condition manifest itself The syndrome is characterized by a loss of lower body function. sporadic and often violent outbursts of profanity. MR. G SHOUTING IN HINDI, WORDS BLEEPED OUT.

And often chronic flatulence. It’s our aim to raise awareness of the condition, and, hopefully, some funds to give some muchneeded support to people such as Mr. Ghoshdashtidar here. Mmm. Well, we think that Mr. Goshdashti Ghosh! Ghoshdashtidar Ghosh! Ghosh! Ghoshdashtidar’s condition is, uh, very, uh, serious and, uh, warrants support, and we’d be delighted for Mr. Doyle to run on behalf of acute neuro Acute neurocortical emphasitis. Or, um. Hapsburg syn Syndrome awareness. Yes. Okay. We’ll just need the charity’s registration number. The what The registration number. FARTING Well, that couldn’t have gone any worse.

Mmm. DENNIS Look out! MR. G Oh! Ohh! CRASH MAN Aw, hit by a wheelchair. The irony. GROANING DENNIS I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. It stings. Oh, my God. It stings. GORDON No, no. Don’t touch him. Bent the knee. DENNIS Can you stand Oh, no! GORDON Are you okay My leg’s broken. We are so sorry. You Call an ambulance! Ah! Oh, this can’t be happening. I was supposed to run the marathon in three weeks. Really Yeah. There were people depending on me. EXHALES Charity people Hmm.

Yeah. God! What charity people What do you think GORDON Nice. Nicotine patch Applied. You been to the toilet One and two. You ready EXHALES Ready. JAKE One. Ow. Two. Get up there. ltigt This is a jailbreak ltigt GRUNTING ltigt This is A Thursday afternoon ltigt ltigt But I didn’t mean it ltigt ltigt I didn’t mean it ltigt Ow! ltigt I’d never get that far ltigt ltigt My baby’s Short breath wouldn’t doltigt ltigt But you took it serious ltigt ltigt Took it so serious ltigt.

Raise. PLAYERS No! GRUNTS BOTH One, two. One more. One more! ltigt Well, you accused me Of wearing movies in my eyes ltigt GRUNTING ltigt But I still love you ltigt ltigt Of course, I love you ltigt ltigt And so I countered ltigt ltigt You do the same My Annie, eye ltigt ltigt You closed ’em so fast ltigt ltigt And you closed ’em So tight ltigt COUGHING EXHALING SONG PLAYING ON STEREO, INDISTINCT SCREAMS Hi, Dennis. Wha I saw your friend Gordon this morning.

I will replace anything he stole. He told me about his little bet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Crazy, huh Yeah. So I made a crazy little bet of my own. LAUGHS Ooh. Who with With you, silly. We haven’t made a bet. We’re about to. Here it is. You finish the race, I’ll forgive all the back rent you owe. And if I don’t If you don’t finish, you pack your bags and you leave. You go, and I finally get some tidy tenants who pay their rent on time. Deal No deal.

SIGHS Hey! Hey, what the Deal Deal. BEAD CURTAIN RATTLING Maya. If you think naked Maya Hey. Hello, Mr. Ghoshdashtidar. How are you I’ve got something for you. Ooh. It’s not the spatula, is it No. Wha Wh Wow. To help you be a good man. LAUGHING I don’t CHUCKLES Thank you. Wow. CHUCKLES EXHALES Peter Perfect’s Perfect Palace. Try saying that when you’re smashed. I will. ltigt Lately ltigt ltigt I been highsteppin’ ltigt PEOPLE CHATTERING ltigt I’ve got a lover ltigt ltigt Who just gets it For real ltigt.

Hey. Hey, Dennis. Hey. Glad you could make it. Thank you. Oh, hey. Wow, Libby. You look, um. Wow. Thank you. I know, right Never mind all this. I’ll take the view I have right here. Oh. I’m Gordon, Libby’s cousin. Hello. Gordon. Of course. I’ve heard a lot about you. Very nice to meet you. Really Yeah. Oh. I thought you said he was an asshole. COUGHING Dennis. Gordon. What It’s okay, Lib. Libby, I got you a birthday present. Oh. GORDON It’s a CD. Hope you don’t have it, I don’t have a receipt,.

And I didn’t exactly get it in a shop. Well, thank you. I think. LAUGHS It’s okay. Where’s the toilet I’ll show you, and, um, you can entertain Dennis. Okay. That is, if he doesn’t mind hanging out with an asshole. DENNIS CHUCKLES He was joking. II never said you were an asshole. Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did. GORDONltigt Whit seems nice.ltigt Yeah, he is. Goodlooking, friendly, welloff, steady job, good with Jake. Just like you got him out of a catalog. And what’s your point I ordered a pair of shoes once from a catalog.

Gorgeous softleather Italian loafers. They looked amazing, but then they arrived, and I put them on, and they hurt like hell. Thanks. I’ll bear that in mind. Wow. Hey, do you think it would be weird if I took a bath Yeah, that would be weird. DANCE MUSIC PLAYING Hey. DENNIS Hey. Here you go. Oh, thanks. Cheers. Cheers. What do you think I think I see a guy peeing on your car. What Got you. Oh, very good. CHUCKLES Actually, you see that What There. I’m talking about St. Paul’s Cathedral.

You see it Uhhuh. Currently my favorite spot in London. You know why Uh, is it because that’s where you first realized how amazing you are CHUCKLES It’s the finish line for the marathon. Only two more days, and I get to cross it. Can’t wait. Me too. Greatest feeling in the world, finishing a distance race. I think you’re really gonna get a kick out of it. You don’t think I’m gonna finish, do you No, I don’t. Why not ‘Cause it’s really hard, Dennis. Actually requires a couple of things.

That, uh, forgive me, but you don’t seem to possess. I happen to have a very nice pair of running shoes now, thank you very much. I’m talking about discipline and perseverance. And all cute little comments aside, there comes a point in every race Could be the fifth mile, could be the 25th But, eventually, you’re gonna hit what runners like to call the wall. And when you do, you won’t be able to breathe or think or even move. All you’re gonna wanna do is give up. And I have a very strong feeling.

That that’s exactly what you’re gonna do, Dennis. See, that’s the difference between getting a girl like Libby and keeping a girl like Libby. You good You need anything else No, I’m good. Okay. ltigt Love is sweet, they say ltigt ltigt Promises of tomorrow ltigt ltigt But the tighter you grip The faster you slip ltigt GAGGING ltigt This much I know ltigt ltigt Lately I want everything ltigt ltigt Every star tied to a string ltigt ltigt Coffee, tea And in between ltigt.

Ltigt The sweetest smile I’ve ever seen ltigt ltigt A different song In every room ltigt Aah! Oh, shit! Sorry. LAUGHS That’s okay. No, it’s okay. It’s okay. Oh, man. It’s just It’s just soda water, honestly. Should I not rub your boob then CHUCKLING Yup. Okay. Sorry. I can do the other one. ‘Cause I’m here, I might as well just even it up. Sorry. Aah! So, you having a. Having a good time Yeah. Yes, I am, thank you. You’ve lost weight. Yeah, just a little bit.

Yeah. You know, get on. Where’s Jake I thought he was gonna be here. Uh, no. Whit thought that we’d have a better time if we got a sitter. Oh. What did you think Heh. I should get back. Libby, um, I I never actually thanked you. For what Well, for. just sort of lettin’ me back into your life. Jake’s life. Yeah, well, you know. I mean, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you just cut me off completely, you know. Ugh, now you tell me. BOTH CHUCKLING Well, no, I mean.

No, he needs his dad. Yeah. You were right, you know, about me entering the marathon. It You know, it was because I was sort of trying to win you back kind of thing. And I’d always kind of hoped that maybe, we’d, you know, get back together and that, but, you know, when I saw you with Whit Dennis. I know I know I know it’s the height of hypocrisy, and I know I know this isn’t gonna change anything, or make anything better, but, um. I’d just I’d settle for your respect.

You know, I’d settle for you smiling when you thought about the time that we’d had together and not thinkin’ it was a waste of time. You know, I mean I know I didn’t do you any favors on that day, okay I did a stupid, stupid thing. But.it was only because I thought spoiling your day was better than ruining your life. Does that make any sense You’re such an idiot. CHUCKLING Hey, I’ve got you something. Oh. What is it It’s something I think you don’t have. A history of reliable boyfriends.

LAUGHS No, it’s Well, it’s only, you know Open it later on. Okay. Happy birthday. Thank you. No. Oh. DOOR OPENS, MUSIC PLAYING ltigt Different song In every room ltigt DOOR CLOSES MUSIC PLAYING, GUESTS CONVERSING TAPPING GLASS Oh, God. WHIT Everyone, could I have your attention Hey. Everyone Where you going WHIT Your attention, please. Everyone, hi. MUSIC FADES Thank you for coming. Really good to see you. Thank you. LAUGHTER We’re here to celebrate the birthday of one Elizabeth Olivia O’Dell. APPLAUSE, CHEERS Happy birthday. As many of you know,.

Uh, my passion in life is running. And in fact, in a couple of days, I’ll be completing another marathon. Thank you very much. APPLAUSE, CHEERING Uh, now, success in running. LAUGHING.requires a lot of the same things as success in love passion, determination, and something I’ve needed a lot of with Libby, stamina. PEOPLE GASPING SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY Just inappropriate, isn’t it Longwinded point I’m trying to make is that both love and running require heart. And Libby has Truly has more heart than any other person I’ve ever known.

So happy birthday, sweetie. Oh. APPLAUSE, CHEERING Thank you all. Oh. Trainers! LAUGHTER WHIT I’m sorry. Can I, uh, just see this for a second Now, what Um. as most of you know, I usually run my races alone.but I thought. I was wondering if you would consider. becoming my partner GUESTS Ohh! Oh, my. Libby.will you marry me WHISPERING No, no, no, no. Okay. Yes. Yes Yeah. LOUD CHEERING Oh, it’s so beautiful. The most beautiful thing. Thank you. PEOPLE CHATTERING LOUDLY Thank you, everybody. Crazy. What’d I miss.

DRUNKENLY So. you bloody. poison. All right. You can stick it up your ass, big, rich idiot. COUGHS TOM BAXTER’S BETTER PLAYING ltigt Our love has changed ltigt I don’t I don’t mind. They’ve decided. ltigt It’s not the same ltigt ltigt And the only way to say it ltigt GROANS ltigt Is say it ltigt ltigt It’s better with me ltigt ltigt I cannot concede ltigt ING ltigt This way I feel ltigt ltigt For all the time ltigt DROPS KEYS ltigt We’ve spent together ltigt.

Ltigt Forever It just gets better ltigt ltigt See, what I’m trying To say is ltigt ltigt You make things better ltigt ltigt And no matter What the day is ltigt ltigt With you here It’s better ltigt ltigt I’ll stand by you ltigt ltigt If you’ll stand by me ltigt ltigt I think it’s time That I reveal it ltigt ltigt ‘Cause I believe it ltigt ltigt It’s better ltigt LAUGHING ltigt See, what I’m Tryin’ to say is ltigt.

Ltigt You make things better ltigt BIRDS CHIRPING KNOCK ON DOOR LIBBY Dennis! PEOPLE CHATTERING LIBBY So, what do you think we should do, Dennis Jake got really upset when I tried to explain it to him. So I just wonder whether maybe you could talk to him today SIPPING LOUDLY PUTS CUP DOWN LOUDLY You know If he heard it from you, that you’re always gonna be his daddy, you know I take it the diet’s off. SQUEEZING EMPTY KETCHUP BOTTLE Dennis, are you even listening Dennis! What You w You want me to tell Jake.

What a What a What a perfect guy whit is. And it’s all gonna be really perfect in his new perfect life No. Not necessarily in those words. I cannot believe you’re gonna marry this guy. He pulled your engagement ring out of a shoe. Please, Dennis. You’re the only one who can help Jake feel okay about this. Listen, if you wanna marry Whit, that’s fine, okay You’re a big girl. You can make your own mistakes, okay Don’t come down here while I’m eating my full English breakfast, with extra breakfast,.

And expect me to make things easier for you. Can I please get some ketchup here! DENNIS I’m not gonna run. What I said I’m not running. What do you mean, you’re not running I mean, I’m not running. I’m not running a stupid marathon. Why Because Libby’s getting married again What did you think She’s not gonna find anybody better Let me be the first to tell you. You’re not a tough act to follow. Oh, what You think I don’t know that I don’t care anymore! What about me.

What about you I’ve got money on this! A lot of money! That is not my problem! Quit it! I’m not the quitter. BOTH GRUNTING PIANO CLANGS Let me go! Ow, my ear! Let go! Oh! Oh! Oh. All right. Oh. Okay! Oh, all right! Oh, enough! Just Just stop for a minute! Aah! KAISER CHIEFS’ EVERY DAY I LOVE YOU LESS AND LESS PLAYING Aah! Oh! ltigt Every day I love you less and less ltigt GROANS ltigt I’ve got to get This feeling off my chest ltigt.

Ltigt The doctor says all I need’s pills and rest ltigt ltigt Since every day I love you less and less ltigt GROANS ltigt Unless, unless. ltigt Are you gonna run No! ltigt I’m sick, I’m tired ltigt GROANS ltigt Oh, yes, I feel I race upon a wheel ltigt Oh, God! Okay, okay, okay, okay. You’ll run ltigt Oh, yes, I’m stressed. ltigt GRUNTING ltigt Impressed You’re dressed to SOS ltigt My balls! ltigt Ohoh, oh ltigt Oh, that’s it! Run away! GROANING.

That’s what you always do! Run away! ltigt Every day, I love you Less and less ltigt GROANING CRASHING NOISES Hey. What the Hello, Dennis. What are you doing Gordon called. He tells me you’re not running the marathon. Yeah, but But what Are you running or not No, but So there you go. Wait Sorry, Dennis. A bet’s a bet. You’re out. DENNIS Mr. Ghoshdashtidar Mr. Ghoshdashtidar. Who the hell are you Oh, please. Look Thought you were a good man, Dennis. Yeah A little screwed up here in the head. Okay.

But Maya was right about you. You are no good. Look Always running away, never running in the right direction. Yeah, but, oh I bought you new running shoes, Dennis. The man said they were the best you can buy. Yes, but But, but, but! Always but ! Always excuses with you! Always some reason why it’s not your fault! I have news for you, Dennis Doyle from downstairs. It’s all your fault! WALKING DOWNSTAIRS DOOR CLOSES SWEEPING GRUNTING Hi. Hi. You You having a yard sale No. Where’s Libby BAGS FALL.

Uh, she’s pickin’ up Jake. I suppose congratulations are in order. Oh, yeah. Well, thank you. Best man won. Well, I wasn’t really aware it was a contest. Dennis! Dennis! Is Jake with you No, why I Oh, is he here, Whit I thought you were picking him up. Jake! Libby Jake! Libby, what is What did you say! What are you Nothing. What do you mean He was at Emily’s. Something happened. He just ran out. Wwhat He has run away, okay Jake ran away. SIREN WAILING Jake! Jake! Gordon!.

Gordon! DOOR OPENS Yes Jake’s run away. What He’s run away! All right. Wait a minute. Just calm down. Think for a second. Where would he go Uh. GRUNTING PANTING SIGHS FOOTSTEPS, DENNIS PANTING DENNIS Hi, snotface. SIGHS Mwah! SNIFFLING CHUCKLING DENNISltigt Yeah, he’s fine.ltigt We’ll be back in about a half an hour, I guess. Okay. CLOSES PHONE Is she mad at me No, no. She’s just glad you’re okay. Do you wanna tell me what happened Emily doesn’t wanna be my girlfriend anymore. Why not ‘Cause there’s this other boy, Robert.

And he’s got a ponytail. And she likes him now. What, she likes him because he’s got a ponytail Mmhm. SCOFFS Jake ‘n’ Bake, as you get older, you realize there are a lot of things that you don’t like, okay Things much worse than this. And when those things happen, you can’t just run away. Why not Because it doesn’t solve the problem. When you start running, the problem’s still there. You’ve got to stick at it, and then figure out a way to solve the problem. Even if it’s really, really hard.

Is that what you do, Dad Dad Dennis. Dennis! Gordon! Gordon. Found him Yes. Good. You can’t stay here. Gordon! What! I’m running. Well, come on up then. SONG PLAYING ON STEREO, INDISTINCT These are great. Where’d you get ’em Whit’s place. LAUGHS See, the trick is you got to load up on carbs the night before the race. I read it inltigt Cosmo.ltigt How are the legs Not too tight No. No, they’re fine. Have you got everything you need You know, your shoes, your shorts, penis Tshirt Yes.

Oh. SHAKING BOX I’m not really in the mood. It’s for your nipples. What You run a 26mile race, a lot of friction is generated from shirt to nipples. Last thing you want during a marathon is nipple chafe. ltigt Cosmoltigt Yeah. I’m not putting that on my nipples And I’m not gonna eat this. Let’s just go to sleep. Well, at least let me make your bed for you. Anything else Have you got a pillow No. Well, then I guess I’m fine. GORDON TURNS OFF MUSIC Hey, what time do you have to be up tomorrow.

Well, we should set the alarm for about 700. I don’t have an alarm clock. Why not I never need to be anywhere. The race starts at 9, okay So we should leave here no later than 8, okay Okay. Good night. Love you. BIRDS CHIRPING CHRIS ON PAltigt A very good morning to you.ltigt ltigt It’s a beautiful day here in Londonltigt ltigt for the first annual Nike River Run.ltigt ltigt We’ve had a very warm welcome from the crowd.ltigt ltigt And we’ve got perfect conditionsltigt for this race, Denise.

We certainly have. 26.2 miles along the River Thames, and 10,000 runners from all over the globe. And an amazing way for many of these folks to raise money for so many worthwhile charities. And as we can see, race officials are already busy at the starting line, with the start less than an hour away. Aah! Aah! Aah! SCREAMING Oh! Taxi! ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt Taxi! ltigt Keep on hidin’ ltigt Taxi! Wait! Wait! ltigt I’m gonna be the one ltigt ltigt To make you understand ltigt.

CHRIS It’s a wonderful course. They’ll wind around the Thames. ltigt And be your man ltigt Go over five bridges, including Osney Bridge, Albert Bridge and the Millennium Bridge. Okay. So go at your own pace today. Slow and steady. Okay. Slow and steady. CHRIS Yeah, challenging leaders we have here. One from Japan, Hiyusha Shinuzu, and, of course, up there also, is Sumi Yamata. DRIVER Watch it! SCREECH Idiot! ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt Other way! Go back! No, we’re not going back! CHRIS Amongst the names we should keep an eye on.

Are the men from Kenya. Always so strong, Wilson Deetay and Collington Degwa. They always can be found at front of the pack. HORN HONKS, BRAKES SCREECH GRUNTS This is as far as I can get, mate. But I need to get to the start of the race. It’s just over the bridge. That’s fifteen quid, mate. Have you got any money Sir, we have a slight liquidity problem. That is a shame. WHIMPERS Uh, no, wait, wait, wait. Look, look. This is a 1940s Rolex 520 perpetual oyster with a bubble back.

That’s not too shabby. Gordon, you can’t give him Hey, it’s an investment. Gordon, thank you. I’ll see you later then. ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt Hey, good luck! Now, typically, the day would have started at the crack of dawn for most of these runners. They’ve had a balanced breakfast, precise physical and mental preparation. On a day like today, even to leave anything to chance, you’d either have to be extremely naive or a complete idiot. CROWD CHEERING VINCENT Over here. To me, to me. That’s it. Be careful.

That’s an antique. Did it start Did it start Not yet. VINCENT Turn it on. CHRIS ON TVltigt What we love about these daysltigt ltigt is the sheer mix of competitors.ltigt ltigt They come in all shapes and sizes,ltigt ltigt from the elite over thereltigt ltigt to the how should we put itltigt ltigt not so elite.ltigt LAUGHTER That’s Dennis! GORDON Look at that stretch. Look at that. Double or nothing Yeah, right. CHRIS Just a few minutes to go now. The warmups should be complete. It’s time, if you have one, for that prerace ritual.

Well, well, well. You made it, huh Yeah. Just wanna wish you luck out there. You too. How are your nipples Great. Mmm. More toast. ltigt Moments to go, and officialsltigt who do you want to win, Daddy or Whit Who do you want to win Daddy, of course. What about you Eat your toast. ltigt And what a great turnout we’ve got here today.ltigt MAN Why am I always the tortoise MAN 2 A bet’s a bet. WHIT Excuse me. I’m sorry. Pardon me. All right. Well, Dennis, I gotta admit,.

I didn’t think you’d make it this far. I mean, uh, you don’t exactly have the best, uh, track record, now, do you Yeah, well that was then, and this is now. No, Dennis. This is now. GUNSHOT CROWD CHEERING All right! Don’t feel you have to keep up with me. Well, don’t feel you have to keep up with me. Yeah. That’s the spirit. DENISE And they’re off, Chris. Yet another great marathon getting under way here in London. CHRIS And having these great runners go 26.2 miles of crowded London streets.

That was great, what you did with Jake, by the way. Thanks. I know Libby really appreciated it too. Oh, I’m glad. In fact, she was so appreciative, we had a nice little jump on the bed. What Have a good race. LAUGHING Isn’t it enough What You got the girl, all right Isn’t it enough I just think it’s high time you realize that it’s over, sir. Otherwise, it’s gonna be tough for you when we move to Chicago. What You better slow down there, chief. You got a long way to go.

Yeah, well, so have you. Ooh, yeah! Yes, I like it. Run, fat boy, run! I can lose weight, but you’ll always be an asshole. ltigt It’s still being dominatedltigt ltigt by the Kenyans, Denise.ltigt Look at that. DENISEltigt Runners are making their way along the embankment.ltigt ltigt What a beautiful view of the.ltigt CHRIS Here we are among the leaders at the moment. The pace is relatively relaxed for the opening miles. DENISE Maybe too relaxed, Chris. It looks like we’ve got a couple of amateurs coming up from the back.

Mom! CHRISltigt It looks like these two boysltigt ltigt are running a race of their own here today.ltigt They’re causing quite a stir among the serious runners. Not something you’d really expect at this stage in the race. DENNIS Oh. Sorry, sir. CHRIS There’s a man down. SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE Sorry. CHRISltigt With all eyes right now on these two runners.ltigt No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing Slow down. LAUGHING But he looks good, doesn’t he ALL Yeah. CHRISltigt .setting a new world record.ltigt What are you trying to prove.

She doesn’t love you anymore, man. I’m not doing this for Libby. Yeah, right. You’re ridiculous, dude. What’s the matter, Whit Can’t keep up Aah! CROWD GROANING Oh. GROANS Daddy! GASP Dennis! I mean, Whit! CHRISltigt It does look very serious.ltigt ltigt We’re getting some more informationltigt GRUNTING CLAUDINEltigt Stay down! Stay down!ltigt LAUGHTER MAYAltigt Where do you think you’re goingltigt I have to go help Dennis. Why Because I am the assistant coach. Yes! CHRISltigt He now leads at the twomile mark.ltigt CHRISltigt That looks painful.ltigt ltigt Looks like this runner’s race dayltigt.

Ltigt will be ending at St. Luke’s Hospital.ltigt GASPS DENISEltigt Absolutely tragicltigt Mom, do something! Come on. ltigt Back to the leaders in the female race.ltigt GROANS Shit. Aah! Hey. Huh Gordon, I think I speak for everybody here. when I say, Give me my money. Five grand, please. Okay. Here’s the thing about the money. And, actually, it’s kind of funny. Uh.I don’t have it. Would you excuse us a moment Uhh! Hi. I’m looking for a patient Dennis Doyle. Are you family Yeah. Doyle Yes, Dennis Doyle. I’m sorry, we don’t seem to have anyone.

Registered by that name. Are you sure He’s a runner in a marathon. Oh, the runner. Oh, yeah. Well, he’s just arrived. Libby Whit How’d you know I was here What are you doing here Honey, that psychopath tripped me. He tripped me. I think I have ligament damage. Guys, can we Can we just Fellas. Can we Look, I’m a patient, please. Just one All right. Find me! Easy, easy! Ow! GURNEY HITS DOORS Vince, look, when I said I didn’t have the money, I meant I didn’t have money here.

I can pay. Oh, you’re gonna pay. No, wait. Look.Vincent. Wait Wait What Wait. Wait a tick. OVERHEAD DOOR SLIDES OPEN Not so bloody fast, mate. Who the hell are you Thanks for that, Mr. G! Your friend is a man of honor. What, Vincent Yes, he said he’s going to kick shit out of you later instead. I don’t understand. On the TV, they said he was being brought here. One second. Okay. I could sue him. You know that, right I could sue him for everything he has.

But, you know, seriously, what am I gonna do with some pizza boxes and a Judas Priest Tshirt Honey, I’m sure it was an accident. Well, you weren’t there, okay You didn’t see it. He was wildeyed, all right He was frothing at the mouth at one point. It was like running a marathon with Cujo, okay Jake, buddy. Can I control the bed, please No, but you can watch me control it. BED S Libby Where are you LIBBYltigt The hospital.ltigt ltigt You with himltigt ltigt No, he’s not here.ltigt.

What do you mean he’s not there ltigt I mean, he’s not here.ltigt Well, where the hell is he then DENNIS GRUNTING CAR HORN HONKING HONKING All right. It’s still It’s on. Pace is still on. CLAUDINEltigt I can’t believe you let Gordon go, Vincent.ltigt Yeah, but he said he was gonna pay us, right, Vincent Vincent Vincent ltigt.showing a lone, mysterious runner.ltigt Uh, he’s looking very badly injured, I must say, ltigt and he’s also causing some major trafficltigt Taxi. DRIVER Yeah, it’s a Rolex. I’m not gonna sell it. It’s a family heirloom now.

What Wait! What are you doing! CLAUDINE Step on it! You can’t just take a man’s cab! SCOOTER HORN BEEPING All right! MR. G Hello, there, Dennis Doyle from downstairs! Who the hell are you LAUGHING BICYCLE BELL RINGS You beauty, come on! TV REPORTERltigt And as the sun sets over London,ltigt ltigt we’re still looking into the identityltigt ltigt of that mysterious runner.ltigt Come on, Dennis, you can do it! Come on! TV REPORTERltigt The only concrete thing we do knowltigt ltigt is that he’s running for erectile dysfunction.ltigt Good news, Mr. Boone.

No rupture, no ligament damage. LIBBY Oh, that’s great. Jake, please DOCTOR In fact, there’s no real damage anywhere. Are you sure, doc Jake, please. DOCTOR It’s, uh, like, uh. what is it you runners say You hit the wall. BED JIGGLING No. No, that That’s not possi GASPS God damn it. Will you stop messing around with the bed, you little shit! God. TV REPORTERltigt Good evening. It’s time for a sports update.ltigt ltigt Top story, the Nike River Run.ltigt ltigt We’ll be chatting to the winner a little bit later on,ltigt.

Ltigt but first, we’ve had thousands of emails and callsltigt ltigt about our mystery runner.ltigt ltigt Well, I can tell you now, our TV crewltigt ltigt just caught up with him.ltigt Excuse me. Sorry. Will you slow down, please You hungry You wanna get a bite CLAUDINE Stop! Stop! MICKEY Everyone out. Get out. Come on! I’m goin’! Hey! GORDON Just go away! LAUGHING CLAUDINE Somebody trip him. CLAUDINE Knock him over. No. Invalid. Offside. Leave him alone! Get off him! I want my money now! Don’t listen to them, Dennis!.

You are a winner! GORDON I want my money now! MR. G Stop it! I’m wearing helmet! GORDON Clear off! ltigt The loneliness of the longdistance runner. ltigt ltigt A phrase epitomized by this man, Dennis Doyle.ltigt For the last eleven miles, he’s been running on what appears to be a severely sprained ankle. What a testament to the power of the human spirit. ltigt Mr. Doyle, how do you feelltigt ltigt How the fuck do you think I feelltigt ltigt What an inspiration.ltigt ltigt We’ll keep you updated as this story progresses.ltigt.

Get out of the bloody way! Sorry. ltigt Well, what a remarkable day.ltigt ltigt Libby, I’m sorry.ltigt all right I lost it. I I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry. Honey, can we ltigt But particularly by.ltigt Jake, buddy. ltigt.one man.ltigt.would you mind just giving us a little peace with the TV, please Thank you. ltigt Go on, Dennis!ltigt Honey, can we just talk about this, please WOMEN TALKING EXCITEDLY MAN Chin up! MAN 2 Keep it up, mate! Do you know Mr. Doyle Uh. Oh. Heh. ltigt I’m the assistant coach.ltigt.

Oh. Oh, really. Uh, what’s your name ltigt Uh, Mr. Ghoshdashtidar.ltigt ltigt Goshltigt Ghosh. Gah Okay. Just call me John. ltigt It was me who discovered his potential.ltigt GASPING I can’t breathe. My head’s gonna explode. He’s not gonna make it. I I have to stop. I have to stop this. No. Sorry. No. What are you doing You can’t stop. You’re nearly there. What How much further It it’s a little, tiny Nine miles. Okay. Okay. CROWD CHEERING ltigt LOUD CRASHltigt DENNIS PANTING GORDON Oh, no. What He’s hit it.

DENNIS PANTING Okay, baby, let’s get you to bed. Jakey. ltigt.by the crowds and the fun runners.ltigt Dennis. ltigt For those just joining us.ltigt Dennis ltigt.it looks like Dennis Doyle,ltigt ltigt a clothing store security guard,ltigt ltigt running for the last ten andthreequarter hoursltigt ltigt on basically one leg,ltigt ltigt is refusing to rest until this race is run.ltigt ltigt Unbelievable!ltigt BRICK HITS GROUND GRUNTING GROANS LIBBYltigt Never finished anythingltigt ltigt in your entire life, Dennis.ltigt WHITltigt All you’re gonna wanna do is give up.ltigt GORDONltigt I’m not the quitter!ltigt.

WHITltigt That’s exactly what you’re gonna do, Dennis.ltigt GORDONltigt Go on, run away! Run away!ltigt ltigt That’s what you always do!ltigt GORDONltigt Dennis!ltigt GORDONltigt Dennis!ltigt ltigt CRASH, SOUND OF WALL FALLINGltigt GORDON Dennis CROWD CHEERING Oh, I don’t believe this. TV REPORTER Yes! He’s still going! Go on, you beautiful man! Apologies there, ladies and gentlemen, uh, but it’s, uh, really rather hard not to get caught up ltigt in the drama of it all.ltigt ltigt Now, let’s take one more lookltigt ltigt at how Dennis broke that ankle.ltigt ltigt And here it is.ltigt.

Ltigt It appears that the runner thereltigt ltigt next to Mr. Doyle is involved in some way.ltigt ltigt In fact, if we look at it again here.yes!ltigt ltigt He deliberately trips him!ltigt ltigt Bastard!ltigt ltigt Apologies again, uh.ltigt That didn’t That’s not what happened. That is That That didn’t happen. I can’t believe this. I don’t believe it either. I don’t understand that. What is that Honey. Honey. that angle makes it look But Uh, he tripped me. He tripped me. Yes, he did. CHEERING WOMAN It’s him! Dennis! GASPS WHITltigt I can’t believe this.ltigt.

Come on, honey. Plea Like I’m gonna do that. What are you Are you kidding me Honey. SIGHS All right, look, I’m just I’m not myself, okay I haven’t been myself for a long time. Work has not been. It’s.uh. It’s just this city, you know It’s just It’s really hard here for me. You know, everyone’s so polite here. And it’s like the food and the And the ca I just don’t know what happened to me. I don’t know It’s just this place. It’s this place, you know And if we I just know it’s gonna be better once we move.

Move To Chicago. What Too soon Oh! Come on, Jake. Libby. Wh Where you goin’ Where you goin’ Oh, you got to be kidding me. Dennis You can’t be serious. The guy left you at the altar, pregnant. Nobody’s perfect. Libby. Libby! L JAKE What a shithead. LIBBY CHUCKLES Jake. DOOR CLOSES Hey. I know you feel bad. I know you’re in incredible pain, but you are so close to me going on holiday. GORDON Come on. CROWD CHANTINGltigt Dennis! Dennis! Dennis!ltigt ltigt Dennis! Dennis! Dennis!ltigt ltigt Dennis! Dennis! Dennis! Dennis!ltigt.

REPORTER As we draw tantalizingly close to the finish line here at St. Paul’s Cathedral, it’s safe to say, it’s been a very long day ltigt for myself and my cameraman.ltigt It’s been a very long day for you watching at home. But for Dennis Doyle, it’s been the single longest day of his life. MR. G Come on, Dennis! Keep going, Dennis! MAN Hey! Move along! GORDON That’s it. You’re there. You’re sixty feet. Fifty Fiftyeight feet. Call it fiftysix and a half feet, and you’re there. Come on. That’s my man! My man.

GRUNTING PEOPLE SHOUTING Come on, come on! GROANING CROWD GROANS SHOUTING GROANING GORDON Dennis, come on. GROANING, CROWD MOANS Stay down, you shambles of a man. LAUGHING Don’t get up. GROANING MR. G Dennis! Dennis. Come on, get up. Dennis, you’re at the finish line. Get up. This looks bad. People are talking. Get up. GROANING, PANTING Hello, Dennis Dennis! Dad! Dennis! Dad! INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE Go on, you good thing! Go on! CROWD CHEERING Come on, Dennis! Yeah! GROANS ALL CHEERING BOTH LAUGHING GROANING Dad! That was a really stupid thing.

You did out there today. Don’t go to Chicago. Dad, you won! LAUGHING TV REPORTER He’s done it! He’s actually done it! This morning, Dennis Doyle was a humble shop worker from North London! Tonight, he goes home a hero! Oh, yay. TV REPORTERltigt And look at that!ltigt Goddamn it. ltigt This extraordinary manltigt ltigt collapses into the arms ofltigt I think it’s backwards here. the woman he loves! ltigt And look! He’s got a son!ltigt ltigt I didn’t know he had a son!ltigt ltigt Did you know he had a sonltigt.

WOMAN Hello, Dennis. Hey. SLAP KNOCKING EXHALES DOOR OPENS Hi. Hi. Jake, your dad’s here! How’s it going Pretty good. Good. You Yeah. Yeah, not bad. You still running Every day. Hopefully in the right direction. BOTH CHUCKLE Yeah. So. Um, Libby. I was thinkin’, um. Hi, Dad. Hey.you. DENNIS AND LIBBY CHUCKLE It doesn’t matter, actually. I’ll, um. I’ll ca I’ll speak to you later. Okay. Say goodbye to your mom. Bye, Mom. Bye. I’ll see you later. Bye. SIGHS KNOCK ON DOOR Libby. I was wondering, would you like to go.

And have some dinner with me next week You don’t have to. It’s not Yeah. Uh. Huh I mean, g Wow. It’d be nice. Uh, yeah. Well, it would be. CHUCKLING RELIEVED SIGH CHUCKLING I’ll, um. I’ll give you a call. Okay. Don’t know why I did that. It’s just Okay. Ready Yeah. MR. G Hello! Hello, Dennis! LAUGHING Mr. G. Hello, Jake. Hello. I was just doing my spin class. It’s great fun, isn’t it Oh, it’s an amazing workout! LAUGHING LAUGHING ltigt Di didi didi ltigt ltigt Didi didi didi ltigt.

DENNIS Dad comin’ up behind the young contender. Come on! Jake! Oh, he takes the ball from Jake! He has the ball! He’s clear! Dad! Pass it! Dad is clear! Give it! Lot of football I have played. JAKE I’ll give you one too. DENNIS Okay, let’s go. Good game. Jake to Mr. G. MR. G Yeah, thank you very much. DENNIS Take over, Mr. G. JAKE There you go, Mr. G. DENNIS All right, I’m gonna Completely illegal move there. Picks up the player, runs with him. Runs with him all the way.

JAKE Dad, that’s illegal! But that’s not all. Because the guy, he can’t barely walk, okay, let alone run, but he keeps going. And 25 miles on a shattered ankle. And you know how he did that You know what he said was the one thing that kept him going His trainer never gave up on him. He stayed with him the whole way. And that was you Mmhm. Yeah. It’s a pretty amazing story, actually. I’ve got a bottle of champagne open here, if you wanna hear it. BOTH Sure.

Well, come on up then. AMY WINEHOUSE’S MONKEY MAN PLAYING ltigt Aye, aye, aye ltigt ltigt Everybody ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Aye, aye, aye ltigt ltigt Aye, aye, aye ltigt ltigt Everybody ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Never saw you I only heard of you ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt I never saw you ltigt ltigt I only heard of you ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt.

Ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Now, I know that Now, I understand ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Now, I know that Now, I understand ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Lalala ltigt ltigt Lalala ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt.

Ltigt Lalala ltigt ltigt Lalala ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Aye, aye, aye ltigt ltigt Aye, aye, aye ltigt ltigt Everybody ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Aye, aye, aye ltigt ltigt Aye, aye, aye ltigt ltigt Everybody ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Never saw you I only heard of you ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt I never saw you I only heard of you ltigt.

Ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt It’s your life ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Now, I know that Now, I understand ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Now, I know that Now, I understand ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Lalala ltigt.

Ltigt Lalala ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt ltigt Lalala ltigt ltigt Lalala ltigt ltigt Huggin’ up The big monkey man ltigt GOLDSPOT’S KEEP ON RUNNIN’ PLAYING ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt ltigt Keep on hidin’ ltigt ltigt One fine day I’m gonna be the one ltigt ltigt To make you understand ltigt ltigt Oh, yeah I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt ltigt Runnin’ from my arms ltigt ltigt One fine day I’m gonna be the one ltigt.

Ltigt To make you understand ltigt ltigt Oh, yeah I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt Hey, hey, hey ltigt ltigt Everyone keeps talkin’ About me ltigt ltigt You make me feel so sad ltigt ltigt Hey, hey, hey ltigt ltigt Everyone is laughin’ at me ltigt ltigt You make me feel so bad ltigt ltigt So keep on runnin’ ltigt ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt ltigt Keep on runnin’ ltigt.

Ltigt Runnin’ from my arms ltigt ltigt One fine day I’m gonna be the one ltigt ltigt To make you understand ltigt ltigt Oh, yeah I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt Hey, hey, hey ltigt ltigt Everyone keeps talkin’ About me ltigt ltigt You make me feel so sad ltigt ltigt Hey, hey, hey ltigt ltigt Everyone is laughin’ at me ltigt ltigt You make me feel so bad ltigt ltigt So keep on runnin’ ltigt ltigt Runnin’ from my arms ltigt.

Ltigt One fine day I’m gonna be the one ltigt ltigt To make you understand ltigt ltigt Oh, yeah I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt ltigt I’m gonna be your man ltigt.

TPB AFK The Pirate Bay Away from keyboard

Three Swedes were arrested today suspected of running one of the world’s biggest websites for illegal downloading. Good evening. The US government threatened with trade sanctions unless file sharing sites, like the Pirate Bay, are shut down. Illegal downloading has upset big organizations in Hollywood. The motion picture studios lost The White House forced the Swedish government to intervene. We applaud the Swedish authorities. It was an important site to stop. The police website was attacked on Friday and last night the government website. The trial against the founders of the Pirate Bay begins tomorrow.

Today they met the press. What will happen to the Pirate Bay if you’re found guilty Nothing. What are they going to do about it They’ve failed shutting it down once. They’re welcome to come and fail again. It’s not the Pirate Bay that’s going to court tomorrow. It is about getting us who are connected to the Pirate Bay into a political trial. The trial tomorrow is not about the law, it’s about politics. Half of all BitTorrent traffic is coordinated by the Pirate Bay. It’s extreme amounts of traffic.

There are 2225 million users at this very moment. A user is defined as one ongoing upload or download. Any questions Please. Where is Fredrik Where is Fredrik We don’t know. He was supposed to be here but he’s probably hungover. The first question Where is Fredrik I said that Fredrik likes to party. I didn’t want to lie and tell them I knew where he was. I tried to get hold of Fredrik all day yesterday. I called him a couple of times and finally he answered. He says Do you know where I am.

I go No. I’m at Arlanda Airport. Why is that I’m leaving. What He said that he had bought a ticket to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. What a great name for an escape plan. So his plan was to head home to his girlfriend in Laos. Live with her and not give a shit about anything. Then suddenly he texted me I think it’s the Security Service. The plane is broken. So where are you now On my way back to the hotel. Phew! The interest for the filesharing trial in Stockholm is massive.

You can’t seriously think that you can stop our world our everyday, our reality. This is so gay. Monique Wadsted. I also represent the gaming industry. But not music. We have the biggest damage claim. I represent some of the big film studios in Hollywood. Warner Bros., Columbia, 20th Century Fox and MGM. We’re demanding compensations of $13 million. It might seem insanely high. That should be seen as an indicator of how big this business is. Because this is about 5 movies during 6 months. The Pink Panther , Syriana , one Harry Potter.

Prison Break and Walk The Line. There is no doubt about what they have done. They have run a commercial business and making a profit. The penalty for this type of activity is prison. Not fines. Fredrik would like to tell his version before the prosecutor starts. Is that accepted by the prosecutor You may begin, Fredrik Neij. I want to start by saying that I have a great interest in computers and IT. And especially for internet and networks. And that I. Well..I’ve lost my train of thought. You forgot what you were saying. You had a long interest in IT.

I got involved in the Pirate Bay because of my interest in IT. I think it’s great fun to work with technology. For me, the Pirate Bay is a technical challenge. To run such a large website and such a large tracker technically. Play with computers that I could never afford to play with on my own. First I want to ask you. The media often describes you as a computer genius. How would you describe your competence yourself I do have a certain technical competence, yes. What does a certain mean, compared to others.

I’m not sure this is the right time, place or medium to post my CV. But I am asking you. Please answer politely. I decline to answer that question. It’s too much of an estimation. It’s what Too hard to estimate. Too hard to estimate It’s a very difficult question. How did you meet Fredrik and Gottfrid I don’t remember, but I assume it was in a chat room on the internet. When was the first time you met IRL We don’t use the expression IRL. We say AFK. But that’s another issue.

I don’t remember that either. Got to know each other IRL What is that In Real Life. We don’t like that expression. We say AFK Away From Keyboard. We think that the internet is for real. This is what our office looks like. Is this inside the Pirate Bay Yes. Here are some of the people working on it. Are they working on it now Yes. Where are they based In Sweden Let’s see. USA, USA, USA or England, England. Finland, I think. The Pirate Bay. This is the web server. Data base and search function.

The trackers are over there. This little piece is the tracker. It’s the world’s biggest tracker. It coordinates 50 of the world’s BitTorrent traffic. Not so many computers, but powerful and wellconfigured. Half the day has gone. How did it feel in court So far it’s been boring. The prosecutors’ strategy is to lie as much as possible in the most boring possible way so you fall asleep in court and become physically undable to defend yourself. Some say that you’ve made a lot of money by spreading illegal material.

We’ve probably made a lot of money, but the site costs a lot, too. Hi. Okay, we’re coming down. Bye. Let’s eat. Okay. Nothing vegetarian. Aren’t you working on the site we’re on trial for while in court The pirated Depeche Mode CD I have in my laptop is even funnier. He’ll open in 5 minutes. How the hell can prosecutor Roswall mix up megabit and megabyte Generally speaking, for storage you use byte and when you measure speed you use bit. It all started with Gottfrid’s site America’s Dumbest Soldiers.

It was a site where you could rate from 1 to 10. It was American soldiers who died in the first Iraq war. Then you could rate how stupid they were depending on how silly their deaths were. Neither the American government nor anybody else appreciated the site. I had a spare line which I let him use for the site. It was from British Telecom. Someone at the US State Department called the head of British Telecom. He called the head of the operator in Sweden where I worked. So the US government ordered us to remove the site.

We fought them for a long time before we removed it. We argued that it was freedom of speech and parody. After a while we closed it down, when it became too much of a fuss. Two months later Gottfrid needed more bandwidth for the Pirate Bay. I still had that line available. We used it for the Pirate Bay. Hearing with the defendant Peter Sunde. The prosecution may begin. Is it true that among the Pirate Bay computers you stored one that you owned I bought a computer that I gave to the Pirate Bureau.

What is the Pirate Bureau It’s an organization that discusses the internet. Is copyright and file sharing discussed on their website Probably. And they are critical to the way copyright works today I’m not sure about that. People have different views. What’s your opinion It’s hard to say. I think it’s problematic. In what way The fact that we’re here today shows that there is a problem. First of all, I don’t believe that young people today believe that copyright is wrong. I think that’s a myth. This Kopimi Sect has been really good at promoting it.

It’s so fucking beautiful! We’ve changed it a bit. So the question in the newspaper was If the Pirate Bay gets convicted, won’t they become martyrs Monique said No, they don’t have any followers. However, they do have a small Kopimi sect following them. So sweet. That’s us! The Pirate Bureau came into existence in the summer of 2003. It was at the same time as the record industry sued Napster in the US and the medical industry sued South Africa for copying HIVmedicine. The name the Pirate Bureau was an easy choice.

It wasn’t about romanticizing pirate stuff with eye patches and stuff. We’ve never liked that. The AntiPiracy Bureau already existed we wanted to state that we’re the active part in this conflict. The AntiPiracy Bureau is the reactive part. This is Henrik Pontn from the AntiPiracy Bureau. We’ve been tipped off that you’re selling copies. Wait, don’t close the door. The police will come with a warrant. They have a built a business based on other people committing crimes. They have created an industry with banners and porn ads to earn revenue.

It was very profitable. You’re making your situation worse. I must be allowed to close the door. Come out, then. If you look at studies about file sharing they don’t do it for the fellowship or to support the ideology. It’s because it’s simple and free. Then there is a small group of people who do this..for reasons they claim to be freedom of speech. Our policy has always been that the site is an empty page that is created by the users. We don’t interfere with the content. Freedom of speech.

I’d prefer the technological viewpoint, a contact service. For communication Yes. I don’t care about the piracy ideology, copyright or politics. I do this because it’s great fun to run a large site. Describe the importance of the Pirate Bay. It democratizes and creates great conditions for freedom of speech. What has that to do with the copyrighted material The Pirate Bay makes it possible for individuals to share material. Even if it’s copyrighted That’s a tricky consequence that I think we have to discuss. What are you hoping for I hope we don’t get a monitored, restricted internet.

That’s the biggest issue right now. The copyright industry is digging a grave for the internet. They don’t take into account the public benefits of a free internet. The problem is that old people are running the companies. They know how you made money before and they don’t want to change. They’re like the Amish. They don’t want electricity. They know how to make do without electricity. Roger Wallis, please come to Court Room 9. Do you think people who download movies will go and buy them as well If they would buy the movie Yes, get it legally.

Yes, but it depends on the quality. If people want better quality. Or if the DVD has special features. You have to increase the value of the products in order to sell them. If you want to adjust your business model to the new world. Thank you. I called your institute and asked these questions because we were unable to put together your curriculum vitae. You’ve stated in court that you’re a professor but your institute calls you a temporary guest lecturer. Do you know how to use Google Yes. Then it’s really simple to find my CV.

We’ve moved on from that question. I thought so too. Let’s move on. Thank you, Your Honor. When you were appointed, were there any competitors I thought we had moved on, Your Honor I would like an answer. Please answer the question. I have no idea! I was asked to come and I went through. And we’re back on this!.the standard selection process at the Royal Institute of Technology. All my publications were submitted. Three professors and two international experts deemed that I was eligible for the appointment. Thank you. Please just answer the questions.

How low can you sink They’re so afraid of the result of your research. They can’t attack you there, so they attack you on a personal level. The Royal Institute of Technology. Professor Roger Wallis. I think it’s sick to attack the academic world like this. It’s not the first time. I’ve heard about professors in the US who have indicated that file sharing could be positive for the industry that have been hunted down with a whip. It’s sad that these American methods are coming to Sweden. Would you like any compensation for participating today.

Please send flowers to my wife for the sleepless night. The court’s budget will not allow that. It’s now two or three days since the court appearance. I’m starting to look through all the blogs around the world. I’m looking here at TorrentFreak Pirate Bay witness overwhelmed with flowers. And an awful lot of very kind people who wrote At last somebody from the older generation. I’m an old man.. seems to understand the way we think. I also make the point here that as a composer. A song I wrote bought our first house.

I support copyright, but only if it encourages creativity or economic incitement or is an incentive to create. Not copyright as a huge control mechanism for people who sit on large swathes of rights. A police officer that worked with the Pirate Bay investigation was employed by a film studio shortly after the investigation. In an email, Warner Bros. states that the information in the media about an alleged conflict of interest is pure speculation. He sold his apartment and bought a house. Just after he got the job. I was disappointed when you didn’t investigate him.

You’re claiming stuff I don’t have a clue about. You should gather material and submit it to the police. I did, but they dropped the case. Well. In that case there is nothing I can do. His income that year is higher than his police salary. He has declared capital gains of $120 000. This fucking trial just gets more and more bizarre every day. I think there’s been a power cut at the Pirate Bay again. Why do you use automatic fuses They’re attached to the cable cover. When an automatic fuse dies 5 times you have to replace it.

My laptops break all the time so I don’t have time to put stickers on. I spilled gin and tonic in one. I spilled beer in another. And I fell on one and smashed the screen. Do you have WIFI here Yes, it’s called bambuser. Doesn’t it work Key. Bambuser. WTF! Stop shouting. I have abstinence! I haven’t been on the internet all day. On page 24 you have received an email that you forwarded to Gottfrid and Peter Sunde. Why did you forward it I didn’t. Every mail that contains DMCA.

Is automatically forwarded to Gottfrid and Peter. I have a lot of abbreviations in my filter. Who programmed the abbreviations I did. Why Because I got a lot of spam. Why would you consider an email called Copyright Claim as spam Spam are emails that I haven’t requested. Fredrik Neij stated that as soon as he got an email from someone representing copyright owners it was forwarded to you from his computer. Is that correct Since no one seems capable to do what we’ve told them i.e. contact the user that uploaded the material.

Those complaints have either been ignored or been replied to in more or less wellphrased ways. Why was it sent to you I express myself well in writing, as opposed to Fredrik. But such a claim didn’t result in anything but scorn and ridicule The first 100 times it resulted in us saying Contact the uploader. And the following 100 times Then we lost our patience. The Company PRQ. Was it a web hotel Yes, it had just been founded. Is it correct that the prosecution confiscated 195 servers and that 11 belonged to the Pirate Bay.

11 or 13, I don’t remember exactly. This is outrageous. This is a true injustice. They’re attacking a company that has nothing to do with the Pirate Bay. Simply because the cofounders were involved with the Pirate Bay for fun. Thanks to the raid PRQ got a lot of attention. Everybody knew that we never give any information to the police. Our customer database was encrypted. The police seized our servers, but didn’t get any customer information. When the Pirate Bay was shut down after the raid you didn’t have any servers left, right.

You were back online after three days. Where did you get the servers We leased servers from a company called NFOrce in Holland. It’s a colocation company. How was that received With standing ovations. It’s a pleasure to announce that the Pirate Bay is back online! In your face, Hollywood! Peter! Yes I’ll be there soon! That’s how you have treated me. I get letters from your lawyers saying Swedish law cannot protect you. US law will get you. You put private detectives on us. I’ve had two outside my house.

I know nothing about that. But it’s your responsibility. It could have been the film industry. No, it was the music industry. Ok. TPB isn’t interested in music and movies. TPB is a generic medium for distribution of all types of files. People shouldn’t say that TPB only is about spreading illegal movies and music. Then your world is this small. It’s your loss. Instead we could say that file sharing is good. Then we could focus on ways to let artists make money. We think file sharing is good. Sure, but you sue everyone.

No. We don’t want to prosecute anyone. We just want people in Sweden to start respecting copyright laws. What was the purpose of the Pirate Bay in your opinion We never spoke about purposes. If it was about reforming laws or if it was about hatred against some Americans. I don’t know their purpose. But for Fredrik, and it was Fredrik I was dealing with the purpose was to make it a big site. The biggest site in the world. From my point of view I liked the idea of the world’s biggest site.

How is the Pirate Bay financed How the website is financed We have ads on the site that generate money. A guy called Lundstrm helped you financially, didn’t he Yes, we we’re sponsored by a company called Rix Telecom. What was his purpose Free advertising for his company. Carl Lundstrm is an interesting guy. He’s behind many rightwing organizations. Carl Lundstrm has apparently given money to. Answer the question! Did he represent these organizations It really bugs me that everybody looks at us as rightwing extremists. It makes me really hurt and angry. My brother is a convicted anarchist.

He’s been in court, defending his opinions. We’ve both been on a neoNazi organization’s hit list. It feels strange to be accused of founding that neoNazi organization. It’s really hard. I can only stand behind my own politics. When you have some influence and people listen to you you should use that position to do something good. When did you become the Pirate Bay’s spokesperson Well, it’s not an official title, but a function that has been given to me. Nobody wanted to do that part, but it was important to communicate.

That the Pirate Bay was doing something important. Since nobody else wanted to, I started doing it. What was Peter Sunde’s role during that time He showed up when we needed a public face. Since neither I nor Fredrik are suited in furnished rooms. So he had nothing to do with running the site. Or any design No. Funding No. It’s AIM. You told me it was MSN. What’s the fucking difference They’re two different networks. It’s like IRCnet and EFnet. Come on! It was the Museum of Modern Art. You’re so loud! You give me a headache.

I’m half deaf, of course I shout. You’re making me deaf. He wants to spread his misery. Why can’t you hear anything Sex, drugs and industry! Sex I’ve heard your sex stories. How much does a banner cost You are asking me about 5yearold figures again. If you give me a day I can probably find some examples. But I can’t give you any exact figures. Does $500 per week sound like a reasonable amount That sounds about right. It’s within the right range at least. Within the right range, you say.

Was there an agreement about how the ad revenue was to be divided I have no idea. You don’t. Fine. I’m so fucking tired. This will be your life for 5 years. Are you Kafka or what It feels like The Trial all over again. I might wake up as Gregor Samsa and can’t go to work because I’ve turned into a beetle. When do you go back to Cambodia As soon as this shit is over. Quiet. It’s a secret. What are your thoughts in general about the case It will be nice when it’s over. Tomorrow it’s just half the day.

And after the closing arguments we’re finished. How much money are they looking for They want around 20 million Euro in damages. But good luck finding that money. I don’t have that kind of money. If they knew that our entire office is a chat room on IRC they wouldn’t believe it. And they don’t because they’ve been asking questions about companies. Yeah, we tried to get organized, but we failed every single time. I don’t think they can grasp the idea of an organization without a boss. People have no idea how small we are. We’re just a couple of guys in a chat room.

I’ve argued that the yearly profit is at least $170,000. And that’s the minimum. Gottfrid Svartholm Warg stated that the price for an ad on TPB was $500 per week. The report from the Forensic Laboratory states that at the time of the raid there were 64 unique ads. A rough estimate. $500 times 64 gives us $34 000 per week. That amount times 52 weeks, i.e. weeks per year makes a yearly revenue of $ 1700 000. Thus The Pirate Bay isn’t idealistic. It’s pure commercial business. Here we go. 4 times 52.

$110 000. That’s a massive sum. We never got that kind of money back then. If you calculate with the right number of ads 4 instead of 64 you get a much more realistic figure. But he has miscalculated so many things. Did Roswall mean 64 different ads, or 4 ads times a bunch of pages Yes. What the hell! Is he insane He’s right behind you. We’re thinking of doing a Bambuser press conference. Hell no!! No! No! They keep calling us organized. They don’t understand what a joke that is.

It’s disorganized crime. You mean for all of you I think you are going to get convicted. Take a picture of Monique. It’s her copyright. I’m leaving. Bye bye. Do you need a hand This is the only help you’ll ever get from me. That’s so kind. I am kind. And I still have my soul, too. Here’s Fredrik, let’s get out of here. Let’s calculate how much money we have earned. Let’s start with an exponential function. You can add times 64. Right. And for N we choose a random number.

Between 10 and 5 200. Do you write code in Swedish Now take the square root to see what Monique’s soul costs. The answer Do it mathematically correct. Come on, not Pi. He’s mad. Go check that it’s correct. Okay. I’ll give you some cred. It’s in my muscle memory. I can’t remember it writing with a pen. I have to emulate a keyboard. So what are you doing at 11.00 on the 17th of April Queuing outside the court 11 am means 5 pm local time. I was thinking the same thing.

Gottfrid, can you sit over here I’m not taking part in any fucking press conference. I’m sick of it! It’s in English. I’m so fucking tired of cameras. And fucking bullshit! Sit here anyway. It’s the last time. Nein. Hi everybody. I’m here and together with me I have some of the guys from TPB. Take your time and ask some questions to the guys and see what they have to say. I didn’t know we were that boring. You are that boring. Because you’re not part of this. Film him!.

Anakata! Today the court will decide if the men behind the Pirate Bay are guilty of copyright infringement. Follow the verdict live on svt.se from 11.00. No, but. Sure, but don’t worry. Because I’m not worried myself. But I’ll talk to you later. Bye. Dad was more nervous than I am. The verdict is in for the Pirate Bay trial. It’s 11 o’clock. All four defendants are sentenced to one year in prison. The offense is called assisting copyright infringement. So one year imprisonment. This is so insane! This must be a joke.

Take it easy, mom. Nothing will happen. This is going to take 5 years. Take it easy. The District Court is ruled by politicians. We call it the Dice Court. Just stay calm. But I can’t talk right now. I have to watch the press conference. Okay. Take care. The District Court has announced the verdict in the Pirate Bay trial. We have estimated the damages to approximately $4,5 million. Fuck you. He’s going to get a good job in Hollywood after this. This is so insane! The hottest set up ever.

I don’t have time right now, I have to decline. No, I’m the only one in Sweden. The others are in the desert or the jungle. No, they are not going to send us to jail whatsoever. The way it works in Sweden is that they can’t..do anything about the case before we can’t appeal anymore. What are we going to call this LOL For the lulz. If this was a movie this is where the heroes encounter their first problem. Karate Kid got bullied in the beginning and got beaten up.

And we’ve just been beaten up. Thanks, Hollywood, for teaching us that the good guys win in the end. In total they wanted around 100 million Swedish crowns, right And they got 30 million. But they could have gotten 1 billion, it doesn’t matter because. We can’t pay and we wouldn’t pay. This verdict makes me upset to the bone. There is no chance in hell this verdict will hold in an appeal. I will cross the creek, the stream and the Atlantic for a redress. It means a lot to have taken a stand.

It’s important to reestablish Sweden as a state governed by law. The judge in the Pirate Bay trial is accused of bias. People are demanding a retrial. Last night I learned about the news that blew up today. The judge in the Pirate Bay trial is a member of organizations that are working with copyright issues. Organizations that the attorneys from the plaintiff’s are part of. I was horrified and shocked to learn about this. Why didn’t you inform the court Good question. I didn’t. Yes, I know how he thought.

My friends will be happy if I rule in their favor. It’s ridiculous. I didn’t think the legal system was that bad. Was it a correct decision That’s for others to decide. It’s Tomas, the judge. He’s the judge in the District Court. He’s a member of the Swedish Association for Copyright. That’s the whole point. He sits in the board for the Swedish Association for Industrial Rights. These two organizations have a common publication, NIR. And all the lawyers that assist the prosecution Peter Danowsky, Henrik Pontn and Monique Wadsted.

They’re all members of the same organization. So he looks very mixed up in these people’s world. From a graphical point of view it’s very obvious. I can’t say if he was biased but just the fact that he withheld this information makes him unsuitable as a judge in this case. The verdict is questionable, since he might be perceived as being biased. Here’s my pirate copy. I have a parasite. Is this you Fredrik Yes. What’s your job IT. Internet. Because of our tradition and the regulations of the village.

You have to pay for the engagement. How much would you like to pay for the engagement $6,000 If you leave her you have to pay the bride dowry times two. That means $12,000. Agreed Please write your name and sign it. Do you like it Good. Yummy! Yummy! Hello! If it didn’t cost me $12,000 I would divorce you. It’s always this way with the Pirate Bay. Chaos and cheating. Last Monday a verdict came from the Stockholm District court where Judge Norstrm is chairman. Black Internet, the ISP for Pirate Bay’s ISP must quit.

And if they continue to give access to the Pirate Bay they will be fined $75 000 per day. Then all hell broke loose. So they’re trying legal tricks and we’re trying technical tricks. It’s like a constant tactical game with different weapons. When we realized that the Pirate Bay was down we looked around, because we always have backups. Then I realized that the Pirate Party had registered their own ISP. The Pirate Party works for reformed copyright laws, an open internet and free access to culture. I realized that if we’re hosted by the Pirate Party.

It means that if someone closes them down, they’re closing down the party. That means closing down a party that represents Sweden in the EU. That would be political censorship on the highest level. If you’re hosted by the Pirate Party you get political protection. You could say that you get diplomatic immunity. After days of speculation Rapport can now reveal that the Pirate Party takes over the responsibility for the security of WikiLeaks’ servers. WikiLeaks or the Pirate Party copied what they had done with TPB. Giving WikiLeaks protection by a political party.

By sharing the same internet connection. Every leak on WikiLeaks has been released on TPB since there is no censorship there. Gottfrid is good at tech stuff and encryption and he’s worked on many important projects. Like Collateral Murder that made WikiLeaks famous. Look at those dead bastards Julian has a lot of respect for Gottfrid. I remember when Gottfrid said There’s a new customer, WikiLeaks. They need help because they’re under attack. The first time I got in contact was when we had to pay a bill. Because no one, and that was a constant problem.

No one remembered the stupid customer number. And no one wanted to say anything on the phone. In 2008 I flew to Sweden to pay the bill in cash. Gottfrid always said he didn’t want money from WikiLeaks. I flew there and paid for one year and a bit in advance. Julian was with me. He flew in as well. And we arranged this meeting with Gottfrid to hand over the money. And it was one of the weirdest incidents in my life. He came to the hotel and he had someone waiting outside in a car.

And they had an agreement that Gottfrid would be near a window. So he stood there in this lobby. With his long hair, looking completely. Strange! Fucked up. And he behaved really strange. And every 30 seconds he turned to see if the guy in the car was there. And Julian and I were standing there and we basically thought that we would go hang out or something. So we asked him if he wanted to come up to the room. And he was like No, no, I can’t. He was turning around.

Never heard that before. And then handing over some cash and the guy jumped in the car and they drove off and we felt like. That was meeting PRQ for us. A warm welcome to Peter Sunde. First question Are you a killer that ruined the whole industry I would love to take credit for it but I can’t. Sorry. They did it themselves. There is a law case now with you. Just one I don’t know how many but some discussions going around. You had a new idea Flattr. It comes from the discussions we had during the Pirate Bay.

There were two sides. One side said there is no problem with downloading. The other side said they’re not making any money from the internet. And there was nothing happening. Can you explain how Flattr works You as a user sign up and you put money into an account. You decide how much you want to spend per month. Then you find Flattr buttons. They look like the Facebook Like buttons. If you click it we remember it until the end of the month. At the end of the month we count your clicks.

And we share your money equally amongst them. Where is the money going It’s going to the creators. That’s the whole concept. The trial in the Court of Appeal against the Pirate Bay began today. Let’s shake hands today again. It’s a sick team, right I’m soaking wet. To rent a car costs $400 per week. I bought that one for $600. I’ll use it for 6 weeks. Is it legal Sure. I’ve even paid the taxes. I don’t really care about parking tickets I have a $7 million debt.

The Court of Appeal, please. Is Gottfrid coming I highly doubt that. Unless he teleports himself. Okay. He wrote this morning that he’s hospitalized with a parasite infection in Cambodia. So yes, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll come. Do you have any other trials The civil cases. The penalty fine stuff. How many are they One in Italy, one in Holland. One in Denmark that we’re not summoned to, and one in Norway. Kuwait, Ireland. Anything else What is the most important I believe it’s very important to look at how our society ought to be.

Not just rule so that big companies can make a bigger profit. How does this feel 8 days to go. It’s boring that we’re just watching tutorial. You wanted to speak for yourself but weren’t allowed to, right I think the new court system is really bad. You can’t introduce new material. We don’t even need to be in court. They could just take the old material and rule from that. Hey, thanks for coming! How are you I’m really sick. Then why the hell are you shaking my hand He’s also sick. What’s wrong with you.

I have a cold and an eye infection. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I just got an SMS from Gottfrid’s mother. She wrote that he is still in Cambodia. She said that he is really ill. He’s had problems before as well. When you look at him, health isn’t the first thing you think of. What are you working with today I run websites. In Cambodia or Thailand With the internet you can work anywhere as long as you have Internet access. State prosecutor Roswall accused the defendants of contempt.

Since they have continued to run the site after the verdict. He wants the one year imprisonment for all four to be affirmed. The tunnel computer is located in Pionen with the Pirate Party. Pionen is a showoff in Apple style. The tunnel computer is the entrance from the internet to the Pirate Bay. Then everything happens in the background somewhere. On the real servers, that are hidden. Right now we’re on our way to the real mountain. That’s an expensive table. 6 cores 12 cores. 4 CPU’s with 12 cores.

Here. The Pirate Bay. And that’s all. We run an efficient ship. Where are the people who run the Pirate Bay based now I don’t know. Ask the Pirate Party, they are hosting the bandwidth. But it has changed owners after we passed it on, too. Once or twice. We miss the support from the Pirate Party in the District Court. With buses and stuff. The buses were the Pirate Bureau. Was it the Pirate Bureau With trumpets and flags and stuff. It feels like they have forgotten about us. The pirate movement’s idea to fight for free file sharing.

Just isn’t accepted anymore. It was just a little fad. I never thought it would survive. I don’t want them. You don’t have to sign them. But by law you have been served. What does that mean I can’t force you to sign. No, you can’t. But you’ve been served. Who are you I’m the subpoena server. Can I see your ID Can I see the last 4 digits, please You should quit smoking. Do I smell This is stressful for me, too. Does it feel bad to do this Kind of.

But they pay you well No. Why do you do it It’s my job. Do you have kids Then I understand, but get a better job. I’ve been thinking about that. Is this from Danowsky I don’t know what it’s about. So you don’t know where it’s from Holland. Okay. Good luck. Thanks. Likewise. He’s got a great job. I feel sorry for him. I don’t. He’s like a meter maid. Did you see the debate on TV A young girl said This is not about young people wanting to commit crimes..

They just have a different consumption pattern. They just want to consume movies and records that way. It’s horrible to hunt them. The market must adjust instead. Life is cooler than the internet. That’s probably a really radical opinion around here. After the cold war they had to invent enemies that you couldn’t even kill. Terror, piracy and drugs. It’s obvious that PRQ has had customers that some say are connected to terror, piracy and drugs. That can’t be denied. I guess all three of them at the same time for one single customer.

You mean Gottfrid Svartholm Warg! He’s a pirate and a junkie. And when you talk to him you get a little scared. You could say he’s a Taliban. I’m back from Cambodia. I’ve been there for a month. I’ve been really worried about Gottfrid’s health. I don’t want to talk too much about. He hasn’t been using stuff constantly. It’s been every now and then. When he has a deadline. He gets stressed by his work when something has to be done. So then he does a whole lot of drugs.

I just couldn’t stand by and watch. I’ve seen friends struggle with drugs before. And it’s. What can I say It’s tough. It’s not something you want to see a friend go through. What are we gonna do Crush racism! When Now! When, when, when Now, now, now! What are we gonna do Crush racism! BrokepPeter is a fucking vegetarian leftist bitch ass bastard. But he’s got balls because he’s in the Pirate Bay He’s giving all the interviews. He’s still a bitch. He does it because of ideological pussyinflicted instincts.

He needs to look himself in the ass and take his own life in his hands. If he’s had a beer or two, he becomes the most annoying person on earth. The problem is he takes a couple of beers at least everyday. Isn’t there some connection to rightwing parties in Sweden Carl Lundstrm, one of the codefendants was a rightwing extremist before. He founded a lot of crap. But in the end he married a Jewish girl. He has four kids. To call him a rightwing extremist was correct 1020 years ago.

Now I wouldn’t say that. If Carl Lundstrm is xenophobic then so am I. Every time I’ve been beaten or robbed, it’s been by immigrants. And I don’t mean seventhgeneration Finnish immigrants. I mean these dirty fucking immigrants. What can I say. He’s stupid when it comes to things like that. He has never thought for himself. He just says what his parents say. He’s an alcoholic racist asshole. But I still love him. And you know what All the emails in the Pirate Bay trial comes from Anakata. Anakata the don’tknowhow tofuckingencrypthiscomputer!.

Even Peter and I encrypted our emails. But Gottfrid didn’t! Gottfrid is the stupidest person in the entire history of IT. Yeah, the Pirate Bay is really tight! I have no batteries left. I’m surprised there are no cameras. Yes, today is the last day. Finally! I’m going home. You can throw them away. You’ve been served anyway. Is this gonna come on YouTube You can throw them away. You do it. You can’t force me to take them. You’ve been served. It was you who dropped the papers. Come on!.

I want to sleep. Sabaidee! When I get acquitted tomorrow I’m going to sue them for millions. Billions! At least! We can’t be worse than they are with fantasy numbers. I landed in Sweden on Saturday. I’m helping out with the new Leaks project’s servers in the server hall. Everybody has left WikiLeaks except for Julian and maybe Anakata. Because he’s like in love with Julian. Fuck! Blink if you’re gonna turn, you fucking anus! Goddamnit! How are you I’m fine. Nice to see you again. You’re good Do these people know what’s happening in your life today.

No. Not even your wife Yes. I don’t know. For Fredrik it’s easy. He can just avoid going home. What do you mean I don’t have any plans on going home. I really don’t know. I don’t have a clue. I’m hesitating. But I won’t accept a conviction. I can serve a prison sentence. But why do it if I don’t have to There’s really no reason for you to do that. Look around. Why shouldn’t I stay here for 5 years You can’t go to jail for something you haven’t done.

Political exile is what it’s about. I don’t want to become a martyr. But I don’t think I’ll be convicted. Knock on wood. But we’ll see. Cheers! Beer man! Are you going to get drunk from happiness or sadness Can I tell you in 12 minutes Hey! The internet just synched up! I think it’s an omen. Stop lagging! If TPB founders are acquitted, it’s a victory for internet freedom. Check out my eye infection! The pirate Gottfrid Svartholm Warg handed in a medical statement. Gottfrid Svartholm was sick. .was shortened but the damages were raised. We’re convicted.

We’re convicted. Domstol.se. It’s Spam. Copy the link. The link underneath! The Court of Appeal considers the defendants’ contribution proven. Fredrik Neij is sentenced to 10 months, Peter Sunde 8 and Carl Lundstrm to 4 months. What about Gottfrid He’s not in the case. Right. The damages went up from $4,5 million to $6,6 million. Well. We lost. Fucking idiots. I’m calling my mom. Hi. I just wanted to say that they gave us a shorter sentence. But we’re appealing. 8 months instead of one year. I just wanted to call and tell you that. So don’t be worried.

I have 59 pages I have to read. Okay, great. Take care. Fucking idiots. The internet just died! Goddamnit! Yes, it did. Fucking Windows crap! The statute of limitation is 5 years. They can’t issue an international warrant of arrest. I can sit here and jerk off for 5 years. And I will. Are you gonna masturbate for 5 years In one go I’ll do it on and off. This means that the internet is criminalized. They label the internet as a place where crimes are committed. Close it down. We’re not even on BBC or CNN yet! That irritates me! Come on!.

I guess we have to live with the fact that we’re not important anymore. The Bay! When does the internet come back Maybe in 2 hours. If we’re lucky. Ladies and gentlemen, dear friends. We are meeting today to discuss one of the hot issues right now in the European Parliament. Thank you very much for having me. It’s very brave to invite me here. I’ve been a pain in the ass for the copyright industry for a long time. I’m one of the spokespersons for the Pirate Bay. TPB is the largest file sharing system in the world.

TPB AFK The Pirate Bay Away From Keyboard HD Multi Subtitles!

Three Swedes were arrested today suspected of running one of the world’s biggest websites for illegal downloading. Good evening. The US government threatened with trade sanctions unless file sharing sites, like the Pirate Bay, are shut down. Illegal downloading has upset big organizations in Hollywood. The motion picture studios lost The White House forced the Swedish government to intervene. We applaud the Swedish authorities. It was an important site to stop. The police website was attacked on Friday and last night the government website. The trial against the founders of the Pirate Bay begins tomorrow.

Today they met the press. What will happen to the Pirate Bay if you’re found guilty Nothing. What are they going to do about it They’ve failed shutting it down once. They’re welcome to come and fail again. It’s not the Pirate Bay that’s going to court tomorrow. It is about getting us who are connected to the Pirate Bay into a political trial. The trial tomorrow is not about the law, it’s about politics. Half of all BitTorrent traffic is coordinated by the Pirate Bay. It’s extreme amounts of traffic.

There are 2225 million users at this very moment. A user is defined as one ongoing upload or download. Any questions Please. Where is Fredrik Where is Fredrik We don’t know. He was supposed to be here but he’s probably hungover. The first question Where is Fredrik I said that Fredrik likes to party. I didn’t want to lie and tell them I knew where he was. I tried to get hold of Fredrik all day yesterday. I called him a couple of times and finally he answered. He says Do you know where I am.

I go No. I’m at Arlanda Airport. Why is that I’m leaving. What He said that he had bought a ticket to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. What a great name for an escape plan. So his plan was to head home to his girlfriend in Laos. Live with her and not give a shit about anything. Then suddenly he texted me I think it’s the Security Service. The plane is broken. So where are you now On my way back to the hotel. Phew! The interest for the filesharing trial in Stockholm is massive.

You can’t seriously think that you can stop our world our everyday, our reality. This is so gay. Monique Wadsted. I also represent the gaming industry. But not music. We have the biggest damage claim. I represent some of the big film studios in Hollywood. Warner Bros., Columbia, 20th Century Fox and MGM. We’re demanding compensations of $13 million. It might seem insanely high. That should be seen as an indicator of how big this business is. Because this is about 5 movies during 6 months. The Pink Panther , Syriana , one Harry Potter.

Prison Break and Walk The Line. There is no doubt about what they have done. They have run a commercial business and making a profit. The penalty for this type of activity is prison. Not fines. Fredrik would like to tell his version before the prosecutor starts. Is that accepted by the prosecutor You may begin, Fredrik Neij. I want to start by saying that I have a great interest in computers and IT. And especially for internet and networks. And that I. Well..I’ve lost my train of thought. You forgot what you were saying. You had a long interest in IT.

I got involved in the Pirate Bay because of my interest in IT. I think it’s great fun to work with technology. For me, the Pirate Bay is a technical challenge. To run such a large website and such a large tracker technically. Play with computers that I could never afford to play with on my own. First I want to ask you. The media often describes you as a computer genius. How would you describe your competence yourself I do have a certain technical competence, yes. What does a certain mean, compared to others.

I’m not sure this is the right time, place or medium to post my CV. But I am asking you. Please answer politely. I decline to answer that question. It’s too much of an estimation. It’s what Too hard to estimate. Too hard to estimate It’s a very difficult question. How did you meet Fredrik and Gottfrid I don’t remember, but I assume it was in a chat room on the internet. When was the first time you met IRL We don’t use the expression IRL. We say AFK. But that’s another issue.

I don’t remember that either. Got to know each other IRL What is that In Real Life. We don’t like that expression. We say AFK Away From Keyboard. We think that the internet is for real. This is what our office looks like. Is this inside the Pirate Bay Yes. Here are some of the people working on it. Are they working on it now Yes. Where are they based In Sweden Let’s see. USA, USA, USA or England, England. Finland, I think. The Pirate Bay. This is the web server. Data base and search function.

The trackers are over there. This little piece is the tracker. It’s the world’s biggest tracker. It coordinates 50 of the world’s BitTorrent traffic. Not so many computers, but powerful and wellconfigured. Half the day has gone. How did it feel in court So far it’s been boring. The prosecutors’ strategy is to lie as much as possible in the most boring possible way so you fall asleep in court and become physically undable to defend yourself. Some say that you’ve made a lot of money by spreading illegal material.

We’ve probably made a lot of money, but the site costs a lot, too. Hi. Okay, we’re coming down. Bye. Let’s eat. Okay. Nothing vegetarian. Aren’t you working on the site we’re on trial for while in court The pirated Depeche Mode CD I have in my laptop is even funnier. He’ll open in 5 minutes. How the hell can prosecutor Roswall mix up megabit and megabyte Generally speaking, for storage you use byte and when you measure speed you use bit. It all started with Gottfrid’s site America’s Dumbest Soldiers.

It was a site where you could rate from 1 to 10. It was American soldiers who died in the first Iraq war. Then you could rate how stupid they were depending on how silly their deaths were. Neither the American government nor anybody else appreciated the site. I had a spare line which I let him use for the site. It was from British Telecom. Someone at the US State Department called the head of British Telecom. He called the head of the operator in Sweden where I worked. So the US government ordered us to remove the site.

We fought them for a long time before we removed it. We argued that it was freedom of speech and parody. After a while we closed it down, when it became too much of a fuss. Two months later Gottfrid needed more bandwidth for the Pirate Bay. I still had that line available. We used it for the Pirate Bay. Hearing with the defendant Peter Sunde. The prosecution may begin. Is it true that among the Pirate Bay computers you stored one that you owned I bought a computer that I gave to the Pirate Bureau.

What is the Pirate Bureau It’s an organization that discusses the internet. Is copyright and file sharing discussed on their website Probably. And they are critical to the way copyright works today I’m not sure about that. People have different views. What’s your opinion It’s hard to say. I think it’s problematic. In what way The fact that we’re here today shows that there is a problem. First of all, I don’t believe that young people today believe that copyright is wrong. I think that’s a myth. This Kopimi Sect has been really good at promoting it.

It’s so fucking beautiful! We’ve changed it a bit. So the question in the newspaper was If the Pirate Bay gets convicted, won’t they become martyrs Monique said No, they don’t have any followers. However, they do have a small Kopimi sect following them. So sweet. That’s us! The Pirate Bureau came into existence in the summer of 2003. It was at the same time as the record industry sued Napster in the US and the medical industry sued South Africa for copying HIVmedicine. The name the Pirate Bureau was an easy choice.

It wasn’t about romanticizing pirate stuff with eye patches and stuff. We’ve never liked that. The AntiPiracy Bureau already existed we wanted to state that we’re the active part in this conflict. The AntiPiracy Bureau is the reactive part. This is Henrik Pontn from the AntiPiracy Bureau. We’ve been tipped off that you’re selling copies. Wait, don’t close the door. The police will come with a warrant. They have a built a business based on other people committing crimes. They have created an industry with banners and porn ads to earn revenue.

It was very profitable. You’re making your situation worse. I must be allowed to close the door. Come out, then. If you look at studies about file sharing they don’t do it for the fellowship or to support the ideology. It’s because it’s simple and free. Then there is a small group of people who do this..for reasons they claim to be freedom of speech. Our policy has always been that the site is an empty page that is created by the users. We don’t interfere with the content. Freedom of speech.

I’d prefer the technological viewpoint, a contact service. For communication Yes. I don’t care about the piracy ideology, copyright or politics. I do this because it’s great fun to run a large site. Describe the importance of the Pirate Bay. It democratizes and creates great conditions for freedom of speech. What has that to do with the copyrighted material The Pirate Bay makes it possible for individuals to share material. Even if it’s copyrighted That’s a tricky consequence that I think we have to discuss. What are you hoping for I hope we don’t get a monitored, restricted internet.

That’s the biggest issue right now. The copyright industry is digging a grave for the internet. They don’t take into account the public benefits of a free internet. The problem is that old people are running the companies. They know how you made money before and they don’t want to change. They’re like the Amish. They don’t want electricity. They know how to make do without electricity. Roger Wallis, please come to Court Room 9. Do you think people who download movies will go and buy them as well If they would buy the movie Yes, get it legally.

Yes, but it depends on the quality. If people want better quality. Or if the DVD has special features. You have to increase the value of the products in order to sell them. If you want to adjust your business model to the new world. Thank you. I called your institute and asked these questions because we were unable to put together your curriculum vitae. You’ve stated in court that you’re a professor but your institute calls you a temporary guest lecturer. Do you know how to use Google Yes. Then it’s really simple to find my CV.

We’ve moved on from that question. I thought so too. Let’s move on. Thank you, Your Honor. When you were appointed, were there any competitors I thought we had moved on, Your Honor I would like an answer. Please answer the question. I have no idea! I was asked to come and I went through. And we’re back on this!.the standard selection process at the Royal Institute of Technology. All my publications were submitted. Three professors and two international experts deemed that I was eligible for the appointment. Thank you. Please just answer the questions.

How low can you sink They’re so afraid of the result of your research. They can’t attack you there, so they attack you on a personal level. The Royal Institute of Technology. Professor Roger Wallis. I think it’s sick to attack the academic world like this. It’s not the first time. I’ve heard about professors in the US who have indicated that file sharing could be positive for the industry that have been hunted down with a whip. It’s sad that these American methods are coming to Sweden. Would you like any compensation for participating today.

Please send flowers to my wife for the sleepless night. The court’s budget will not allow that. It’s now two or three days since the court appearance. I’m starting to look through all the blogs around the world. I’m looking here at TorrentFreak Pirate Bay witness overwhelmed with flowers. And an awful lot of very kind people who wrote At last somebody from the older generation. I’m an old man.. seems to understand the way we think. I also make the point here that as a composer. A song I wrote bought our first house.

I support copyright, but only if it encourages creativity or economic incitement or is an incentive to create. Not copyright as a huge control mechanism for people who sit on large swathes of rights. A police officer that worked with the Pirate Bay investigation was employed by a film studio shortly after the investigation. In an email, Warner Bros. states that the information in the media about an alleged conflict of interest is pure speculation. He sold his apartment and bought a house. Just after he got the job. I was disappointed when you didn’t investigate him.

You’re claiming stuff I don’t have a clue about. You should gather material and submit it to the police. I did, but they dropped the case. Well. In that case there is nothing I can do. His income that year is higher than his police salary. He has declared capital gains of $120 000. This fucking trial just gets more and more bizarre every day. I think there’s been a power cut at the Pirate Bay again. Why do you use automatic fuses They’re attached to the cable cover. When an automatic fuse dies 5 times you have to replace it.

My laptops break all the time so I don’t have time to put stickers on. I spilled gin and tonic in one. I spilled beer in another. And I fell on one and smashed the screen. Do you have WIFI here Yes, it’s called bambuser. Doesn’t it work Key. Bambuser. WTF! Stop shouting. I have abstinence! I haven’t been on the internet all day. On page 24 you have received an email that you forwarded to Gottfrid and Peter Sunde. Why did you forward it I didn’t. Every mail that contains DMCA.

Is automatically forwarded to Gottfrid and Peter. I have a lot of abbreviations in my filter. Who programmed the abbreviations I did. Why Because I got a lot of spam. Why would you consider an email called Copyright Claim as spam Spam are emails that I haven’t requested. Fredrik Neij stated that as soon as he got an email from someone representing copyright owners it was forwarded to you from his computer. Is that correct Since no one seems capable to do what we’ve told them i.e. contact the user that uploaded the material.

Those complaints have either been ignored or been replied to in more or less wellphrased ways. Why was it sent to you I express myself well in writing, as opposed to Fredrik. But such a claim didn’t result in anything but scorn and ridicule The first 100 times it resulted in us saying Contact the uploader. And the following 100 times Then we lost our patience. The Company PRQ. Was it a web hotel Yes, it had just been founded. Is it correct that the prosecution confiscated 195 servers and that 11 belonged to the Pirate Bay.

11 or 13, I don’t remember exactly. This is outrageous. This is a true injustice. They’re attacking a company that has nothing to do with the Pirate Bay. Simply because the cofounders were involved with the Pirate Bay for fun. Thanks to the raid PRQ got a lot of attention. Everybody knew that we never give any information to the police. Our customer database was encrypted. The police seized our servers, but didn’t get any customer information. When the Pirate Bay was shut down after the raid you didn’t have any servers left, right.

You were back online after three days. Where did you get the servers We leased servers from a company called NFOrce in Holland. It’s a colocation company. How was that received With standing ovations. It’s a pleasure to announce that the Pirate Bay is back online! In your face, Hollywood! Peter! Yes I’ll be there soon! That’s how you have treated me. I get letters from your lawyers saying Swedish law cannot protect you. US law will get you. You put private detectives on us. I’ve had two outside my house.

I know nothing about that. But it’s your responsibility. It could have been the film industry. No, it was the music industry. Ok. TPB isn’t interested in music and movies. TPB is a generic medium for distribution of all types of files. People shouldn’t say that TPB only is about spreading illegal movies and music. Then your world is this small. It’s your loss. Instead we could say that file sharing is good. Then we could focus on ways to let artists make money. We think file sharing is good. Sure, but you sue everyone.

No. We don’t want to prosecute anyone. We just want people in Sweden to start respecting copyright laws. What was the purpose of the Pirate Bay in your opinion We never spoke about purposes. If it was about reforming laws or if it was about hatred against some Americans. I don’t know their purpose. But for Fredrik, and it was Fredrik I was dealing with the purpose was to make it a big site. The biggest site in the world. From my point of view I liked the idea of the world’s biggest site.

How is the Pirate Bay financed How the website is financed We have ads on the site that generate money. A guy called Lundstrm helped you financially, didn’t he Yes, we we’re sponsored by a company called Rix Telecom. What was his purpose Free advertising for his company. Carl Lundstrm is an interesting guy. He’s behind many rightwing organizations. Carl Lundstrm has apparently given money to. Answer the question! Did he represent these organizations It really bugs me that everybody looks at us as rightwing extremists. It makes me really hurt and angry. My brother is a convicted anarchist.

He’s been in court, defending his opinions. We’ve both been on a neoNazi organization’s hit list. It feels strange to be accused of founding that neoNazi organization. It’s really hard. I can only stand behind my own politics. When you have some influence and people listen to you you should use that position to do something good. When did you become the Pirate Bay’s spokesperson Well, it’s not an official title, but a function that has been given to me. Nobody wanted to do that part, but it was important to communicate.

That the Pirate Bay was doing something important. Since nobody else wanted to, I started doing it. What was Peter Sunde’s role during that time He showed up when we needed a public face. Since neither I nor Fredrik are suited in furnished rooms. So he had nothing to do with running the site. Or any design No. Funding No. It’s AIM. You told me it was MSN. What’s the fucking difference They’re two different networks. It’s like IRCnet and EFnet. Come on! It was the Museum of Modern Art. You’re so loud! You give me a headache.

I’m half deaf, of course I shout. You’re making me deaf. He wants to spread his misery. Why can’t you hear anything Sex, drugs and industry! Sex I’ve heard your sex stories. How much does a banner cost You are asking me about 5yearold figures again. If you give me a day I can probably find some examples. But I can’t give you any exact figures. Does $500 per week sound like a reasonable amount That sounds about right. It’s within the right range at least. Within the right range, you say.

Was there an agreement about how the ad revenue was to be divided I have no idea. You don’t. Fine. I’m so fucking tired. This will be your life for 5 years. Are you Kafka or what It feels like The Trial all over again. I might wake up as Gregor Samsa and can’t go to work because I’ve turned into a beetle. When do you go back to Cambodia As soon as this shit is over. Quiet. It’s a secret. What are your thoughts in general about the case It will be nice when it’s over. Tomorrow it’s just half the day.

And after the closing arguments we’re finished. How much money are they looking for They want around 20 million Euro in damages. But good luck finding that money. I don’t have that kind of money. If they knew that our entire office is a chat room on IRC they wouldn’t believe it. And they don’t because they’ve been asking questions about companies. Yeah, we tried to get organized, but we failed every single time. I don’t think they can grasp the idea of an organization without a boss. People have no idea how small we are. We’re just a couple of guys in a chat room.

I’ve argued that the yearly profit is at least $170,000. And that’s the minimum. Gottfrid Svartholm Warg stated that the price for an ad on TPB was $500 per week. The report from the Forensic Laboratory states that at the time of the raid there were 64 unique ads. A rough estimate. $500 times 64 gives us $34 000 per week. That amount times 52 weeks, i.e. weeks per year makes a yearly revenue of $ 1700 000. Thus The Pirate Bay isn’t idealistic. It’s pure commercial business. Here we go. 4 times 52.

$110 000. That’s a massive sum. We never got that kind of money back then. If you calculate with the right number of ads 4 instead of 64 you get a much more realistic figure. But he has miscalculated so many things. Did Roswall mean 64 different ads, or 4 ads times a bunch of pages Yes. What the hell! Is he insane He’s right behind you. We’re thinking of doing a Bambuser press conference. Hell no!! No! No! They keep calling us organized. They don’t understand what a joke that is.

It’s disorganized crime. You mean for all of you I think you are going to get convicted. Take a picture of Monique. It’s her copyright. I’m leaving. Bye bye. Do you need a hand This is the only help you’ll ever get from me. That’s so kind. I am kind. And I still have my soul, too. Here’s Fredrik, let’s get out of here. Let’s calculate how much money we have earned. Let’s start with an exponential function. You can add times 64. Right. And for N we choose a random number.

Between 10 and 5 200. Do you write code in Swedish Now take the square root to see what Monique’s soul costs. The answer Do it mathematically correct. Come on, not Pi. He’s mad. Go check that it’s correct. Okay. I’ll give you some cred. It’s in my muscle memory. I can’t remember it writing with a pen. I have to emulate a keyboard. So what are you doing at 11.00 on the 17th of April Queuing outside the court 11 am means 5 pm local time. I was thinking the same thing.

Gottfrid, can you sit over here I’m not taking part in any fucking press conference. I’m sick of it! It’s in English. I’m so fucking tired of cameras. And fucking bullshit! Sit here anyway. It’s the last time. Nein. Hi everybody. I’m here and together with me I have some of the guys from TPB. Take your time and ask some questions to the guys and see what they have to say. I didn’t know we were that boring. You are that boring. Because you’re not part of this. Film him!.

Anakata! Today the court will decide if the men behind the Pirate Bay are guilty of copyright infringement. Follow the verdict live on svt.se from 11.00. No, but. Sure, but don’t worry. Because I’m not worried myself. But I’ll talk to you later. Bye. Dad was more nervous than I am. The verdict is in for the Pirate Bay trial. It’s 11 o’clock. All four defendants are sentenced to one year in prison. The offense is called assisting copyright infringement. So one year imprisonment. This is so insane! This must be a joke.

Take it easy, mom. Nothing will happen. This is going to take 5 years. Take it easy. The District Court is ruled by politicians. We call it the Dice Court. Just stay calm. But I can’t talk right now. I have to watch the press conference. Okay. Take care. The District Court has announced the verdict in the Pirate Bay trial. We have estimated the damages to approximately $4,5 million. Fuck you. He’s going to get a good job in Hollywood after this. This is so insane! The hottest set up ever.

I don’t have time right now, I have to decline. No, I’m the only one in Sweden. The others are in the desert or the jungle. No, they are not going to send us to jail whatsoever. The way it works in Sweden is that they can’t..do anything about the case before we can’t appeal anymore. What are we going to call this LOL For the lulz. If this was a movie this is where the heroes encounter their first problem. Karate Kid got bullied in the beginning and got beaten up.

And we’ve just been beaten up. Thanks, Hollywood, for teaching us that the good guys win in the end. In total they wanted around 100 million Swedish crowns, right And they got 30 million. But they could have gotten 1 billion, it doesn’t matter because. We can’t pay and we wouldn’t pay. This verdict makes me upset to the bone. There is no chance in hell this verdict will hold in an appeal. I will cross the creek, the stream and the Atlantic for a redress. It means a lot to have taken a stand.

It’s important to reestablish Sweden as a state governed by law. The judge in the Pirate Bay trial is accused of bias. People are demanding a retrial. Last night I learned about the news that blew up today. The judge in the Pirate Bay trial is a member of organizations that are working with copyright issues. Organizations that the attorneys from the plaintiff’s are part of. I was horrified and shocked to learn about this. Why didn’t you inform the court Good question. I didn’t. Yes, I know how he thought.

My friends will be happy if I rule in their favor. It’s ridiculous. I didn’t think the legal system was that bad. Was it a correct decision That’s for others to decide. It’s Tomas, the judge. He’s the judge in the District Court. He’s a member of the Swedish Association for Copyright. That’s the whole point. He sits in the board for the Swedish Association for Industrial Rights. These two organizations have a common publication, NIR. And all the lawyers that assist the prosecution Peter Danowsky, Henrik Pontn and Monique Wadsted.

They’re all members of the same organization. So he looks very mixed up in these people’s world. From a graphical point of view it’s very obvious. I can’t say if he was biased but just the fact that he withheld this information makes him unsuitable as a judge in this case. The verdict is questionable, since he might be perceived as being biased. Here’s my pirate copy. I have a parasite. Is this you Fredrik Yes. What’s your job IT. Internet. Because of our tradition and the regulations of the village.

You have to pay for the engagement. How much would you like to pay for the engagement $6,000 If you leave her you have to pay the bride dowry times two. That means $12,000. Agreed Please write your name and sign it. Do you like it Good. Yummy! Yummy! Hello! If it didn’t cost me $12,000 I would divorce you. It’s always this way with the Pirate Bay. Chaos and cheating. Last Monday a verdict came from the Stockholm District court where Judge Norstrm is chairman. Black Internet, the ISP for Pirate Bay’s ISP must quit.

And if they continue to give access to the Pirate Bay they will be fined $75 000 per day. Then all hell broke loose. So they’re trying legal tricks and we’re trying technical tricks. It’s like a constant tactical game with different weapons. When we realized that the Pirate Bay was down we looked around, because we always have backups. Then I realized that the Pirate Party had registered their own ISP. The Pirate Party works for reformed copyright laws, an open internet and free access to culture. I realized that if we’re hosted by the Pirate Party.

It means that if someone closes them down, they’re closing down the party. That means closing down a party that represents Sweden in the EU. That would be political censorship on the highest level. If you’re hosted by the Pirate Party you get political protection. You could say that you get diplomatic immunity. After days of speculation Rapport can now reveal that the Pirate Party takes over the responsibility for the security of WikiLeaks’ servers. WikiLeaks or the Pirate Party copied what they had done with TPB. Giving WikiLeaks protection by a political party.

By sharing the same internet connection. Every leak on WikiLeaks has been released on TPB since there is no censorship there. Gottfrid is good at tech stuff and encryption and he’s worked on many important projects. Like Collateral Murder that made WikiLeaks famous. Look at those dead bastards Julian has a lot of respect for Gottfrid. I remember when Gottfrid said There’s a new customer, WikiLeaks. They need help because they’re under attack. The first time I got in contact was when we had to pay a bill. Because no one, and that was a constant problem.

No one remembered the stupid customer number. And no one wanted to say anything on the phone. In 2008 I flew to Sweden to pay the bill in cash. Gottfrid always said he didn’t want money from WikiLeaks. I flew there and paid for one year and a bit in advance. Julian was with me. He flew in as well. And we arranged this meeting with Gottfrid to hand over the money. And it was one of the weirdest incidents in my life. He came to the hotel and he had someone waiting outside in a car.

And they had an agreement that Gottfrid would be near a window. So he stood there in this lobby. With his long hair, looking completely. Strange! Fucked up. And he behaved really strange. And every 30 seconds he turned to see if the guy in the car was there. And Julian and I were standing there and we basically thought that we would go hang out or something. So we asked him if he wanted to come up to the room. And he was like No, no, I can’t. He was turning around.

Never heard that before. And then handing over some cash and the guy jumped in the car and they drove off and we felt like. That was meeting PRQ for us. A warm welcome to Peter Sunde. First question Are you a killer that ruined the whole industry I would love to take credit for it but I can’t. Sorry. They did it themselves. There is a law case now with you. Just one I don’t know how many but some discussions going around. You had a new idea Flattr. It comes from the discussions we had during the Pirate Bay.

There were two sides. One side said there is no problem with downloading. The other side said they’re not making any money from the internet. And there was nothing happening. Can you explain how Flattr works You as a user sign up and you put money into an account. You decide how much you want to spend per month. Then you find Flattr buttons. They look like the Facebook Like buttons. If you click it we remember it until the end of the month. At the end of the month we count your clicks.

And we share your money equally amongst them. Where is the money going It’s going to the creators. That’s the whole concept. The trial in the Court of Appeal against the Pirate Bay began today. Let’s shake hands today again. It’s a sick team, right I’m soaking wet. To rent a car costs $400 per week. I bought that one for $600. I’ll use it for 6 weeks. Is it legal Sure. I’ve even paid the taxes. I don’t really care about parking tickets I have a $7 million debt.

The Court of Appeal, please. Is Gottfrid coming I highly doubt that. Unless he teleports himself. Okay. He wrote this morning that he’s hospitalized with a parasite infection in Cambodia. So yes, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll come. Do you have any other trials The civil cases. The penalty fine stuff. How many are they One in Italy, one in Holland. One in Denmark that we’re not summoned to, and one in Norway. Kuwait, Ireland. Anything else What is the most important I believe it’s very important to look at how our society ought to be.

Not just rule so that big companies can make a bigger profit. How does this feel 8 days to go. It’s boring that we’re just watching tutorial. You wanted to speak for yourself but weren’t allowed to, right I think the new court system is really bad. You can’t introduce new material. We don’t even need to be in court. They could just take the old material and rule from that. Hey, thanks for coming! How are you I’m really sick. Then why the hell are you shaking my hand He’s also sick. What’s wrong with you.

I have a cold and an eye infection. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I just got an SMS from Gottfrid’s mother. She wrote that he is still in Cambodia. She said that he is really ill. He’s had problems before as well. When you look at him, health isn’t the first thing you think of. What are you working with today I run websites. In Cambodia or Thailand With the internet you can work anywhere as long as you have Internet access. State prosecutor Roswall accused the defendants of contempt.

Since they have continued to run the site after the verdict. He wants the one year imprisonment for all four to be affirmed. The tunnel computer is located in Pionen with the Pirate Party. Pionen is a showoff in Apple style. The tunnel computer is the entrance from the internet to the Pirate Bay. Then everything happens in the background somewhere. On the real servers, that are hidden. Right now we’re on our way to the real mountain. That’s an expensive table. 6 cores 12 cores. 4 CPU’s with 12 cores.

Here. The Pirate Bay. And that’s all. We run an efficient ship. Where are the people who run the Pirate Bay based now I don’t know. Ask the Pirate Party, they are hosting the bandwidth. But it has changed owners after we passed it on, too. Once or twice. We miss the support from the Pirate Party in the District Court. With buses and stuff. The buses were the Pirate Bureau. Was it the Pirate Bureau With trumpets and flags and stuff. It feels like they have forgotten about us. The pirate movement’s idea to fight for free file sharing.

Just isn’t accepted anymore. It was just a little fad. I never thought it would survive. I don’t want them. You don’t have to sign them. But by law you have been served. What does that mean I can’t force you to sign. No, you can’t. But you’ve been served. Who are you I’m the subpoena server. Can I see your ID Can I see the last 4 digits, please You should quit smoking. Do I smell This is stressful for me, too. Does it feel bad to do this Kind of.

But they pay you well No. Why do you do it It’s my job. Do you have kids Then I understand, but get a better job. I’ve been thinking about that. Is this from Danowsky I don’t know what it’s about. So you don’t know where it’s from Holland. Okay. Good luck. Thanks. Likewise. He’s got a great job. I feel sorry for him. I don’t. He’s like a meter maid. Did you see the debate on TV A young girl said This is not about young people wanting to commit crimes..

They just have a different consumption pattern. They just want to consume movies and records that way. It’s horrible to hunt them. The market must adjust instead. Life is cooler than the internet. That’s probably a really radical opinion around here. After the cold war they had to invent enemies that you couldn’t even kill. Terror, piracy and drugs. It’s obvious that PRQ has had customers that some say are connected to terror, piracy and drugs. That can’t be denied. I guess all three of them at the same time for one single customer.

You mean Gottfrid Svartholm Warg! He’s a pirate and a junkie. And when you talk to him you get a little scared. You could say he’s a Taliban. I’m back from Cambodia. I’ve been there for a month. I’ve been really worried about Gottfrid’s health. I don’t want to talk too much about. He hasn’t been using stuff constantly. It’s been every now and then. When he has a deadline. He gets stressed by his work when something has to be done. So then he does a whole lot of drugs.

I just couldn’t stand by and watch. I’ve seen friends struggle with drugs before. And it’s. What can I say It’s tough. It’s not something you want to see a friend go through. What are we gonna do Crush racism! When Now! When, when, when Now, now, now! What are we gonna do Crush racism! BrokepPeter is a fucking vegetarian leftist bitch ass bastard. But he’s got balls because he’s in the Pirate Bay He’s giving all the interviews. He’s still a bitch. He does it because of ideological pussyinflicted instincts.

He needs to look himself in the ass and take his own life in his hands. If he’s had a beer or two, he becomes the most annoying person on earth. The problem is he takes a couple of beers at least everyday. Isn’t there some connection to rightwing parties in Sweden Carl Lundstrm, one of the codefendants was a rightwing extremist before. He founded a lot of crap. But in the end he married a Jewish girl. He has four kids. To call him a rightwing extremist was correct 1020 years ago.

Now I wouldn’t say that. If Carl Lundstrm is xenophobic then so am I. Every time I’ve been beaten or robbed, it’s been by immigrants. And I don’t mean seventhgeneration Finnish immigrants. I mean these dirty fucking immigrants. What can I say. He’s stupid when it comes to things like that. He has never thought for himself. He just says what his parents say. He’s an alcoholic racist asshole. But I still love him. And you know what All the emails in the Pirate Bay trial comes from Anakata. Anakata the don’tknowhow tofuckingencrypthiscomputer!.

Even Peter and I encrypted our emails. But Gottfrid didn’t! Gottfrid is the stupidest person in the entire history of IT. Yeah, the Pirate Bay is really tight! I have no batteries left. I’m surprised there are no cameras. Yes, today is the last day. Finally! I’m going home. You can throw them away. You’ve been served anyway. Is this gonna come on YouTube You can throw them away. You do it. You can’t force me to take them. You’ve been served. It was you who dropped the papers. Come on!.

I want to sleep. Sabaidee! When I get acquitted tomorrow I’m going to sue them for millions. Billions! At least! We can’t be worse than they are with fantasy numbers. I landed in Sweden on Saturday. I’m helping out with the new Leaks project’s servers in the server hall. Everybody has left WikiLeaks except for Julian and maybe Anakata. Because he’s like in love with Julian. Fuck! Blink if you’re gonna turn, you fucking anus! Goddamnit! How are you I’m fine. Nice to see you again. You’re good Do these people know what’s happening in your life today.

No. Not even your wife Yes. I don’t know. For Fredrik it’s easy. He can just avoid going home. What do you mean I don’t have any plans on going home. I really don’t know. I don’t have a clue. I’m hesitating. But I won’t accept a conviction. I can serve a prison sentence. But why do it if I don’t have to There’s really no reason for you to do that. Look around. Why shouldn’t I stay here for 5 years You can’t go to jail for something you haven’t done.

Political exile is what it’s about. I don’t want to become a martyr. But I don’t think I’ll be convicted. Knock on wood. But we’ll see. Cheers! Beer man! Are you going to get drunk from happiness or sadness Can I tell you in 12 minutes Hey! The internet just synched up! I think it’s an omen. Stop lagging! If TPB founders are acquitted, it’s a victory for internet freedom. Check out my eye infection! The pirate Gottfrid Svartholm Warg handed in a medical statement. Gottfrid Svartholm was sick. .was shortened but the damages were raised. We’re convicted.

We’re convicted. Domstol.se. It’s Spam. Copy the link. The link underneath! The Court of Appeal considers the defendants’ contribution proven. Fredrik Neij is sentenced to 10 months, Peter Sunde 8 and Carl Lundstrm to 4 months. What about Gottfrid He’s not in the case. Right. The damages went up from $4,5 million to $6,6 million. Well. We lost. Fucking idiots. I’m calling my mom. Hi. I just wanted to say that they gave us a shorter sentence. But we’re appealing. 8 months instead of one year. I just wanted to call and tell you that. So don’t be worried.

I have 59 pages I have to read. Okay, great. Take care. Fucking idiots. The internet just died! Goddamnit! Yes, it did. Fucking Windows crap! The statute of limitation is 5 years. They can’t issue an international warrant of arrest. I can sit here and jerk off for 5 years. And I will. Are you gonna masturbate for 5 years In one go I’ll do it on and off. This means that the internet is criminalized. They label the internet as a place where crimes are committed. Close it down. We’re not even on BBC or CNN yet! That irritates me! Come on!.

I guess we have to live with the fact that we’re not important anymore. The Bay! When does the internet come back Maybe in 2 hours. If we’re lucky. Ladies and gentlemen, dear friends. We are meeting today to discuss one of the hot issues right now in the European Parliament. Thank you very much for having me. It’s very brave to invite me here. I’ve been a pain in the ass for the copyright industry for a long time. I’m one of the spokespersons for the Pirate Bay. TPB is the largest file sharing system in the world.

DermTV Fillers for Under Eye Dark Circles DermTV 414

Today I’m going to tell you how to make dark circles under your eyes vanish instantly, for as long as a year! And stay tuned until the end of this episode for the question of the day if you answer it correctly, you’ll have a chance to win a free skincare product! Hello I’m Dr. Neal Schultz pause And welcome to DermTV. Dark undereye circles make you look tired. They make you look older. And they’re very frustrating to treat. Most products that make any meaningful difference either, like makeup, cover the darkness, or, are products with.

Reflector particles that make the dark circles look lighter by reflecting light. One of the reasons undereye dark circles are so hard to treat is because they’re caused by any combination of seven different problems, across three categories brown discoloration from melanin pigment, red and blue discoloration from enlarged blood vessels, and, most importantly, darkness from shadows. This last type, dark circles from shadows, is all too common as we get older, and can even start as early as in your mid to late 30’s. The good news is they’re so easy to fix with filler treatments.

The same fillers we use for lines and wrinkles all over the face. These filler treatments cause instant improvement and last for many months, and even up to a year. Pretty cool, huh Let’s understand how this works. The shadows that cause these dark circles usually come from the age related loss of fat below the lower lid which creates a trough called the tear trough. The shadow caused by this depressed trough is often accentuated by a bulge of fat just above it caused by fat bulging out from under the globe of the eye.

That fat actually belongs, and used to be, below your eye, inside your eye socket in your skull. So we have bulging fat elevated above the level of normal skin, and the tear trough depression below the level of normal skin and this high point and this low point are right next to each other, which magnifies the contrast in height. Since natural day light and most indoor light come from above, when we’re sitting or standing, these shadows are maximized. So what does the filler do It fills in the trough which corrects.

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